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« Our Shows Are BACK And Our Excitement Level Is At (At Least) 11 | Main | The One With All The Awkward Kissing »

April 29, 2013

All My (New and Returning and Rapidly Aged) Children

The most ridiculous part of my day was not the sheer and utter GLEE I had at the return of All My Children and the way I actually squealed when the show opened with Brooke and Adam, because none of that is ridiculous at all. It's expected: Chandlers and Hubbards and Cortlandts are back in our lives. The only reaction a person should be having is GLEE.

No, the most ridiculous part of my day was looking at the AMC/OLTL Premiere note I had written in my planner, as if I actually needed a reminder. I have an impeccable memory to start with so I almost definitely wouldn't have forgotten it and also, it's kind of a huge deal that I've been talking about incessantly for weeks to anyone who would listen and by "would" I mean, "was in close quarters in which escape wasn't an option".  So why I felt the need to write myself a note is a little beyond me, unless Early-April Mallory just wanted to leave it there as a treat so that Mid and Late-April Mallory could get all flaily everytime she noticed it.

I'm not even going to pretend like I have the presence of mind to write this in any sort of coherent way--planning and structure is just too hard to do when you're clapping constantly. What you're going to get is a list of thoughts. Many, many thoughts. Probably more thoughts than you thought possible to get out of a 27 minute long show and they may not even make much sense, on account of the aforementioned clapping. How's that for an enticing opening?! I can almost hear you all exiting your browsers.


**Opening with Brooke (still suffering from PTSD symptoms from the event at her engagement party, which is only alluded to, making it very mysterious and intriguing) and Adam (who is just the greatest. He's been absent from our lives for so long and has returned even more charming than he left it!) was just a genius move.


Who better to be the center of this show than Adam and Brooke? Nobody and if you have any suggestions, I don't want to hear them because they are wrong (I kid. Actually, I don't kid, but because fair is fair, I promise to at least listen to your wrong suggestions). They're engaged again! It was delightful.

**Dixie can weep all she wants and Opal can mournfully talk about Tad being "gone", but I refuse to believe that he's dead. Sorry, can't do it, won't do it. The man is in a coma, you guys.

**Speaking of Opal, I'm so glad she still dresses so...colorfully.


**AJ is a little terrible, isn't he? I know it's wrong to rush to judgment and that the kid was only oncsreen for like eight minutes and I should give people chances, but I've never been one to let reason and fairness get in the way of making snap judgements. Something about the overly dramatic way he was snarking on everyone to let go of the past in a strident tone straight out of an afterschool special made me raise an eyebrow in distaste.

AJ: It was five years ago! The only way to deal is to move on!
AJ, like this is all anyone has talked about for the past five years which I'm sure is what it feels like to him but we literally just heard him have a conversation about normal high school angst, so...: Can we let it go, people! It happened, it's over. We need to move on!

I get that it must be very difficult for him to deal with the fallout from the MYSTERIOUS NIGHT OF THE PARTY since his father was responsible for whatever happened that MYSTERIOUS NIGHT OF THE PARTY but put your manners back in, kid! Although it's fitting, I guess, that he'd be so annoying. He IS the child of two walking personality disorders.

**Miranda, on the other hand, is just perfect. She's exactly what I imagine Bianca's daughter (and Erica's daughter's daughter!) to be like.

Genius casting.

**Gosh, Jesse and Angie are just too swoon worthy, aren't they? All flirtatious and bantering and hot.


I'm excited to see where this "Cassandra in peril" story goes, and not just because it is what's bringing Zach bach. Okay, mostly because it's bringing Zach back and also because I'd watch Debbi Morgan and Darnell Williams sit on a couch recapping their trips to the grocery store.

**They really ARE having fun with no network censors, aren't they? Four-letter words, the repeated use of the phrase "vagitarian" and some pretty steamy sex fantasies, all in the premiere episode.


**I had a moment of sheer panic that the actor playing Petey--sorry, Pete!--was incredibly and appallingly young and then I felt like a sex predator, but word on the street is that he's 24, which...I was going to say some variation of "do-able" or "I can work with that" and then I felt dirty, because that's still quite young, but! He's very, very pretty.

**The insta-love between him and teacher Celia could not have been handled with less finesse. A meet cute should not include a woman eating an apple off the ground. No, that happened--she became so clumsy and flustered after meeting Pete, which I sort of understand but STILL, that she just randomly chomped into an apple that she had dropped on the ground.  


Okay. Sure, people do that. Yup.

**I love soapy editing.

Griffin, who I hope might actually get a personality this time around: David's buried behind bars for manslaughter. He's not getting out for a long, long time.

Literally milliseconds later, David strolls the hell out of prison and enjoys the feel of sunshine on his skin for a very long time which I suppose is the kind of realistic reaction a recently released prisoner would have but which made me laugh because everything David Hayward does makes me laugh, like the single tear he cried while visiting someone's grave. A SINGLE TEAR and then angry grave-talking. Vincent Irizarry, what did we all do without you for so long?!


**Was David's cab driven by Tommy Lee Jones?

Tommy Lee Jones DOES seem like the type to be up on current events and would recognize David from the news. I just don't know why he'd be driving a cab.

Overall, I REALLY enjoyed it. The casting, for the most part, was quite good and the half hour running time really made things zip along (does anyone else think sitting down for General Hospital is going to feel like suuuuuuch a slog now?) and they dangled enough intriguing hints that I'm curious about what is going to happen next--and what happened five years ago..


I didn't really realize how much I missed these people until they were on my screen! I thought the whole episode was great - the scenes blended wonderfully between vets we know to newbies we will. Loved it! I also had an overwhelming sense of ... not sure what to call it ... WE did this (well, not me personally) ... fans made this happen. Power to the people!

Mallory, I'm right there with you on the GH length thing. It felt endless today after having watched OLTL and AMC ...um, a few times. (Well, any episode in which Sabrina is wearing a tiara and fairy wings is going to be too long for me.)

I loved the outdoor scenes, it felt like Pine Valley should be (except for all those Connecticut license plates). Cute and clean little town. Just not clean enough to eat apples off the sidewalk.

I completely disagree about AJ, I love him, he's got his grandfather and father's snark, which is a Chandler trait

I like Celia. She seems like she's gonna be crazy! Maybe like Crazy Annie!

Ok, it's driving me crazy trying to remember if Lucy was the baby that Angie had after being blind. If so, how is it that she has graduated? I know SORASing is a common soap thing, but this kid was born after both AJ and Miranda. It's going to drive me crazy.

SaneN85. Lucy was the abandoned baby that Jesse subbed in for a blind Angie after their real baby died. Her birth mother Maya ended up her nanny and I think at the end wehen all was revealed, she was going to stay wit Angie and Jesse while se went to school. I think they flubbed the line and meant to say Maya. One second they were talking about reading to Lucy at night and how cute she was and the next was the weird line about her graduating and moving. So I think we're to assume that Maya in 5 years finished college, got a job, maybe met a guy and moved away with kindergarten aged Lucy. I agree it was distracting.

I cannot wait for 5 am tomorrow. This may be the thing that gets me up and to the gym every morning.

It feels like PP dumped every bad idea we were subjected to for the last 10 years and went back to the basics - with a twist. And what a GREAT twist!
Brooke and Adam......Jesse and Angie....Francesca James.....David, Dixie...Joe...now get MEK back if at all possible.
And not a Lavery Lord of Douche or Green Butterfly in sight!!! Thank GOD..

AMC is Back and IT's GREAT!

I can't remember who AJ's parents are, JR...and..? LOVED the show, Adam, Opal, Petey! Loved the line where he said something to the effect of, "UH, everyone watches TV on the internet now!" He's hot and can act. yay@! It's a fun, exciting time...I haven't even thought about GH! I'll still watch, but AMC and OLTL are like, the FUN, cable shows that are just more exciting. Plus it's NEW! This is new territory for and old genre that peeps are e motionally attached to and thought they lost and that's a great combo for EXTREME HAPPINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and PS: David Hayward. EFF. YAH.

melanie, AJ's birth mother is the blessedly dead Babe Chandler. He also considered Babe's twin sister Marissa a mom for a while.

I never was an AMC fan, but I watched just because I'm so happy they are both back. Having been to the first day of taping for OLTL, I enjoyed seeing that they used the streets of Stamford for the driving scenes :)

I DO love David Hayward and am totally wondering what he did to land in jail. I watched the last episode or two but I don't remember anything about that! I hope they put him back with Cara - they were so cute together!

"He is the child of two walking personality disorders." I think that may be one of my favorite nicknames for Babe now.

Also, it's amazing that I still have as much Babe hate as I do. But she was just the worst.

Okay, I'm not sure about this Celia -- but there is nothing more soapy (and AMC in particular) to me than a rich girl kept away from society by an overprotective guardian. It's so AMC that I often forget and think it's Brooke's back story.

I'm just sort of confused about the AJ/Miranda relationship. When we last saw them they were being raised as siblings, and it seems like they still are, but they're being really flirty and he's obviously jealous of this Hunter guy. I'm just not really sure where they're going with this.

Also, does the new Miranda remind anyone else of Lexi Ainsworth as Kristina on GH? I'm not sure what it is exactly, but I definitely like her.

Didn't that "...in love at first sight..." foolishness take you back to when Days pulled the same stunt between EJ & Emily... I mean Taylor --

When I heard that line about Lucy graduating, I was like: "I thought they just moved forward FIVE years! Is this chic Lucy Howser or summat?"

Just when I thought they'd rob Dr. Good Jeans of his scrubs & Levi's combo... he walked in wearing scrubs & Levi's (or some other such brand of tasty looking jeans #Unf)

& Tommy Lee Jones' body double driving the cab? Hilarious!

*sets serial drama to homepage*

thank you .. i too think that AJ is miscast ... and this mysterious guardian of Celia's????? where did that school, boarding school, now on main street come from and who is that head mistress ... is that Francesa James??? who wants to bet she's actually Celia's mysterious guardian?

I preferred the AMC opening to OLTL, though I think OLTL is the tighter show.
I am THRILLED with this Miranda!! She can act AND she has personality!
I TOTALLY buy her as Erica Kane's granddaughter!
I got a little weepy over The Hubbards. Smart to make Angie & Jesse the center of the show.
LOVE that they've just DELETED Randi from everyone's memory! That was a deliberate dis & I am petty enough to enjoy it!
This Petey is too "perfect" looking...too scrubbed & plucked... like he's CGI & everyone else is real.
When I see his face, all I can think about is how long it must take to do his eyebrows.

Life is truly good again! It is like having best old friends back home - and I think that they are starting to kick the show into high gear after 4 episodes. So glad AMC is back!!!!!! and Mallory---I missed you too!!!!!

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