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« This Is Just Amazingness (Side Note: Nothing Rhymes With Stavros) | Main | Return of the Goddess (and I Don't Mean Katie Couric) »

April 16, 2013

What More Could We Have Done?

Oh, Bill. Silly, silly Bill Spencer.

Yesterday's The Bold & the Beautiful gave us a few delicious tidbits of hilarity, starting with Bill and Brooke's utter inability to make even small talk without standing at most three inches away from one another.


And then of course the two of them had one of the more hysterically delusional conversations I've ever heard in which they talked themselves into thinking that Katie, in fact, wants the two of them to be together. And it's not their fault and they had no choice and they tried literally everything to make Katie feel better and stop her from ending the marriage! Everything!

Brooke: We made love. And it just seemed so right. Katie didn't want you, but I did. I hadn't loved somebody like that in a long time. But did she mean it? Did she really mean she wanted us to be together, or did she just say that out of anger?

Bill: We tried to convince her.

Brooke: And she just kept insisting.

Bill: What more could we have done? I'm not going to apologize for what happened. We wouldn't even be having this conversation if Katie weren't sick.

Clearly we had no choice but to have sex!

That's right, Bill. What more could you have done? I mean you tried lying, you tried yelling ignorant things at your wife a lot, and you tried telling her sister you'd married the wrong sibling. Maddeningly, none of that managed to hold your marriage together! What choice did you have but to give her sister a stallion ride? NONE AT ALL. You only did what any man would do!

They are cracking me up. Newsflash: no one in the history of EVER who has said, "He's all yours! You can have him!" has meant it. Not once. Not one single time should you see that as permission and blessing to sex up somebody's husband.

Tear ducts in action

In other news, her tear ducts couldn't possibly be operable, right?

Pardon the digression. The other funniest sequence was between expectant Mom and Pop Steffy and Liam.

Clueless liam

Steffy: Okay, I have been to a lot of weddings, not to mention I had my own. It just feels different this time, you know?

Liam: Yeah, well, maybe it's because there's three of us this time.

Steffy: Should we put that on the invitation? "Liam, Steffy, and their baby request the honor of your presence."

Liam: Oh, my god. Your mom would love that.

Steffy: Your dad wouldn't care.

Liam: He's wanted you to be a part of the family for a long time.

Steffy: Unlike his wife.

Liam: She'll come around.

First of all, my lord they are seriously the corniest people alive. And according to Taylor, now they're hipsters? I would like some evidence of this. Liam made a joke yesterday about how the wedding guests would use shirt sleeves instead of napkins. And they both worship Bob Hope. Unironically. I'm still waiting to see any hipsterisms play out.

But more importantly, "He's wanted you to be part of the family for a long time." Ha! And he says that without an ounce of discomfort! Seriously, during all this they have not once addressed that not that long ago Bill was preparing to leave Katie for Steffy. It's all completely forgotten, apparently Bill just always thought Steffy would make a super wife to Liam.

Anyway, Katie woke up. But Bill already announced that he refuses to apologize or feel guilty for having sex with his wife's sister. That's right, Bill. Stand up for yourself for once! Isn't it refreshing to see him finally getting a little self-confidence and chutzpah?


The show has finally convinced me that Liam belongs with Steffy. Because how can Hope expect to compete with the Bob Hope bond?

Poor, neglected Bill Spencer. In all seriousness, I think this is a shame, in spite of the unintentional hilarity, only because Bill has only ever been likeable when he was with Katie - and, you know, acting like he was in love with her.

Does the Onion write this show?

Does Brad Bell just recycle scripts instead of writing new ones? I can't believe that Bill and Brooke are trying to justify their adultery. Why are the women on this show such doormats when it comes to men? Brooke is a beautiful woman, she could probably have any man in LA, even a hot, younger guy, but she has to go after her sister's husband?

I just read that Hope is going to attempt to try and stop Liam and Steffy's wedding. Because Steffy has interrupted everyone of hers? Seriously, I think that Liam should just move in with the both of them, and live together like Big Love. They can share him on alternate nights. Isn't that the Spencer way?

B&B drinking game:

drink every time Brooke & Bill make eye-contact

You will be drunk in 10 min. Because they clearly have anterograde amnesia and forget that they just exchanged "a meaningful glance" just 30 seconds ago.

I have to say that I am really enjoying the Brooke-Bill-Katie triangle (family relations aside), and I'm wondering if it was partly due to my bias of loving KKL, HTom and even DD, or if it's the execution (+ acting) that makes it infinitely better (in my eyes) than the Hope-Liam-Steffy crap. So far, I think the execution of B-B-K is infinitely better than H-L-S. That could also be because at least Bill isn't pretending that he loves both women the same way. He's a douche, but at least he's not a waffler. What do you think?

In other news, how amazing does KKL look? Is there a color that doesn't suit her?

As much as I praise B&B for returning DD to his old hunky self, all I can say about Dollar Bill is WTF? Yeah, I do think the show is written by the Onion.

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