We Are Family
As hard as the General Hospital commercial narrator tries to convince me that every episode is going to be one that I won't want to miss because it will change Port Charles forever by incorporating twists I never saw coming, I usually don't believe him. This is partly because being a jaded know-it-all is kind of my thing (it's a mostly unintentional thing. I just have facial features that meld together into boredom and disinterest) and mostly because nothing in Port Charles ever changes and many episodes are actually must-misses. My best friend is a much more reliable barometer: she'll text me things like "This show is awful" or "Kiki makes me want to go deaf", but today's "GH was REALLY good today" had me intrigued/nervous that she had hit her head.
She was right: it was like one long trainwreck, in the best possible way.
Tracy: What's going on?
Ric: All hell just broke loose.
Um, to put it mildly! I sincerely hope that the entire cast had throat lozenges handy. And I'm not entirely sure that Kelly Thiebaud will ever get the smeared mascara off of her face. All of the characters involved were acting demented and their actors had their dials firmly turned up to eleven, so the big reveal was crazy people being very loud and pulling ugly faces. I have to stress again that I mean that as a compliment.
LULU: CRAZY
Lulu has been acting less than stable for quite a while and I have to say that it hasn't been incredibly interesting. While I'm making confessions, I'd also like to admit that as much as I like Lulu and Dante and Lulu and Dante as a couple, I have found their baby storylines to be...lacking. I had what basically amounted to negative interest in their surrogacy story and while I wanted them to be reunited with Ben, it was more of a mild "I guess it will be nice when that happens" than anything really fervent or emotionally invested. I had a feeling that whenever the big reunion happened it would be, you know, fine.
But when she stomped in to shriek at Britt in front of everyone, I became incredibly interested in both her obvious mental issues and her reunion with Ben. Like, get this tiny lunatic her baby NOW! I've never wanted anything more!
I really enjoyed that over the course of the episode, she calmed down considerably and just stood in the background with big moon eyes while everything hit the fan around her. It somehow made her seem even nuttier. When Dante confronted Britt (he went ALL CAPS And then got choked up and at one point was basically full on weeping) and once he said his peace, loudly and tearfully (I can't stress enough how LOUD everyone was today), she was smiling gleefully! And then it got even weirder, which I hadn't thought possible, BUT!
Dante: We have a son.
Lulu: We have a son.
[In the middle of a room full of people, Dante and Lulu stared into each others eyes, crying]
Dante: I love you so much.
Lulu: God, I love you.
[Then the kissing starts. And the panting. And the audience wondering "Are they seriously just going to have celebratory sex right here? In front of people? Some of whom are emotionally devastated, some of whom are relatives? Are we...was that a sex moan? Please stop]
BRITT: CRAZY
What you'll probably remember clearest is the sight of Nikolas restraining an absolutely hysterical Britt, who was wailing and primally screaming and giving him quite the run for his money (I would not be surprised if tomorrow's show started with Britt breaking free and making a run for (the, of course, MIA, because leaving him with Obrecht was just a stellar decision, all of you!) Ben with Nikolas panting like twenty paces behind her. It was a memorable moment for sure, but what will really stick with me was the strange gestures she did when she was trying to make Lulu seem crazy at the start of the episode. The stilted way she said "Show us this letter, huh? Show us this letter!" and, like, did the robot? For someone who so often winds up in devious plans, she is absolutely terrible at carrying them out.
NIKOLAS: !!!
Let's count all of the things Nikolas said today that made me scream "HOLY WHOA!" at my television. Someone REALLY does not like to be proven wrong!
Nikolas: I'd like an answer, please.
Elizabeth: You might have to wait a while. Britt doesn't enjoy owning up.
Nikolas: Are you enjoying yourself, Liz?
Elizabeth, her mouth a perfect O of shock: Excuse me?
Nikolas: Seriously, I'm surprised you didn't just waltz in here with a mariachi band.
HOLY WHOA!
Nikolas: Come on, don't deny you've been gunning for Britt ever since you found out we were together.
Elizabeth: I couldn't stand your fiancee well before that.
Nikolas, enunciating every HA and really showing off the eloquence that comes with royal breeding: HA HA HA! Oh my god! The hypocrisy right now is, is...what it is is...well, frankly, it's...it's mind blowing. Saint Elizabeth on her pedestal, looking down on us.
HOLY WHOA!
Nikolas, at the top of his lungs: How many lies have you told? How many lives have you upended because you were a coward? But yet you stand here and judge the rest of us with a smile on your face?
HOLY WHOA!
Elizabeth: You think I'm enjoying this?
Nikolas: You could have fooled me!Elizabeth: I didn't ask to find that letter, but I did.
Nikolas: Whatever! You couldn't have done it any other way? You had to orchestrate a public scene like this? My god!
Elizabeth: I was just trying to do the right thing.
Nikolas: So what, you want my gratitude? Is that what you want, Liz? You want me to tell you you were right all along, I should have listened to you, I should thank you for coming to my senses? IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN.
HOLY WHOA!
Nikolas: Get the hell out of my house.
HOLY WHOA!
Elizabeth: You want me to leave when Britt's the one who's been lying to you?
Nikolas: Yes. Go. Get out of here. JUST GO!
Ric: Let's just grab Cam and let's get out of here. Come on. He's not worth it.
Nikolas: Once again, Ric to the rescue. Hey, don't pass any panic rooms on the way home!
HOLY WHOA!
...has Nikolas EVER been this interesting? I'm serious.
"(he went ALL CAPS And then got choked up and at one point was basically full on weeping)"
Seriously, why was he crying? It was a weird choice. I mean, I get the actors want to ACT!, but it seemed pretty out of character to cry in front of a whole room of people
Posted by: uliis | March 25, 2014 at 09:17 PM
HOLY SHIT SNACKS!* I can't wait to see this episode!!!! I honestly figured they were going to deem LuLu batshit and not believe anything she had to say. I'm so glad it's not going to turn out this way!!
(*Please excuse my expletive - I've watched about 30 episodes of Archer in the last week, and I love Pam more than my sister).
Posted by: Rene' | March 25, 2014 at 10:19 PM
P.S. - Mallory - what are your thoughts on the Luke working with Julian scenario? I mean, is this Caesar in another beyond-good-special-effects-created Luke mask? Cause you just know Anna and Robert did NOT kill him. And if we're to believe the conversation between Luke and Julian, Luke has been working with Julian long before the bout of crazy-inducing at Miscavige (which is the greatest mental hospital name EVER). So what's your take?
Posted by: Rene' | March 25, 2014 at 10:23 PM
I like Liz and Nik was mostly out-of-line today, but chiming in about a woman forced to come clean about a baby paternity secret when you too, in that very house, were forced to come clean about a baby paternity secret is a little pot calling the kettle black, Lizzie.
And seriously, all these people letting Dr. O (who just got done throwing Brad OFF A PARAPET OMG SO AMAZING!) walk off with the baby was so stupid. Girlfriend's probably already jet skiing away from the island with the baby strapped to her back (hopefully while wearing a kicky wig).
Posted by: C | March 25, 2014 at 10:53 PM
Personally I think Ben is better off with Brit.
Can you imagine the therapy bills that kid is going to incur from growing up in a one room hole in the wall without even a curtain to protect him from the sights and sounds of those two oafs that spawned him getting busy?
Posted by: Dirk | March 25, 2014 at 11:38 PM
The only thing that really bothered me with the whole baby story line was how the writing had Liz's first instinct was to go and tell Nik first. Liz has had her 2 youngest kids kidnapped from her. So her motivation should've been about reuniting Lulu and Ben. Liz not telling Jason for half a day that he is Danny's father, not much of crime. She punished herself more than Franco was for actually kidnapping a newborn and never facing charges for doing it. Everything else was fantastic!
And Nik? Lulu was the one who came in and made a scene. Liz has dispised Brit for longer than you've known Brit. So shove it! Nice to see him comforting the witch who willfully stole his baby sister's child and then proceeded to lie about. Intending to keep everyone in the dark about the truth.
Honestly? I was going to bet on everyone figuring it out when Ben would come down with Lulu's aplastic anemia.(that was her toddler illness that brought a teen Nik to town, right?)
And it seemed a tad odd that Tracy didn't tell "Luke" that Lulu is Ben's bio mother? I can buy Olivia wanting to tell Sonny away from Brit, but Luke (real Luke) would want to know and see to it that Lulu got her kid back.
Posted by: stlbf | March 26, 2014 at 12:04 AM
Liz should have punched Nik in the family jewels and called it a night. Lulu caused the scene and left the stupid letter behind.
I did laugh at short Lulu looking up Britt.
Posted by: MissyLady | March 26, 2014 at 01:03 AM
Oh god. This scene was magic. MAGIC.
And good for Kelly for losing her shit when she realized she lost Ben.
I am so happy right now.
I love Liz but that smugface was NOT HELPING and I love Nik for wiping it off that face.
So good.
Posted by: Neka | March 26, 2014 at 02:11 AM
Why in the world was Emma wandering around this party without her father, grandmother, or any adult supervision whatsoever, in close proximity to the psycho who helped kidnap and imprison her mother and was just recently making further veiled threats against Robin, intimating she might be gone forever? This show was so much better when it embraced some semblance of internal logic.
Posted by: Trippyjr | March 26, 2014 at 02:22 AM
I did wonder that myself b.c Patrick had just said he needed to go take Emma to the party?? I really hope they are not making Patrick all depressed etc again, only to have Sabrina come and 'save' him.
Also, is Victor going to have something for them from Robin when he comes back??This whole SL is awful.
The reveal stuff was good though!!
Posted by: Special Mom | March 26, 2014 at 07:53 AM
The reveal was pretty good, but, I was fuming about the letter (Lulu was idiotic for leaving it with Liz) and Obrecht leaving the room alone without anyone stopping her (c'mon she already kidnapped him once)and I didn't notice the performances until the last couple of scenes. I thought Kelly, Emme, Dominic, and Tyler were really good.
Posted by: DN | March 26, 2014 at 08:58 AM
most excellent episode even tho lulu was a dumkoff to leave the letter with liz - and i know it was a plot device after all if lulu had the letter nic wouldnt have been able to verbally attack liz - nevertheless it was as stupid as letting Obrecht take the baby and/or liz/ric spending all that time talking upstairs with the letter... it all part of how we love to hate this show ...
Posted by: Daryl | March 26, 2014 at 09:01 AM
The only thing i wish Liz had said to Nik when she and Ric were leaving was this: You're welcome, dumbass.
And maybe throw in a "Lulu, go get your baby from that psycho doctor!"
Sure Nik was embarrassed. His stupidly chosen new family was just shown to be the fraud it always was. And seething in jealousy over Ric bringing Liz to the party. And when he inevitably goes to apologize for his behavior, i wouldn't mind Liz throwing out a "who was in denial of their feelings now?" comment.
Sure Niz is probably the long term goal for the show. But I'll enjoy the LiRic as long as I can!
Posted by: stlbf | March 26, 2014 at 12:08 PM
Why was Britt dressed like a Solid Gold dancer??? Man oh man, such a pretty woman and such an unflattering dress.
Loved the episode and the fact we are getting so much gorgeous Liz these days. I'll cherish each moment (she's my favorite character.) Rebecca Herbst looks AMAZING all dolled-up.
Bring on LiRic. How lovely they are together and today (3/26) we got flashbacks!
Posted by: Soapbaby | March 26, 2014 at 10:33 PM
Eeeeeeeeeeeeee! LiRic flashbacks! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Yes, I have turned into a 12 year old girl thanks to a few flashbacks.
And am I wrong to want Carly to start bitching out Liz about seeing Ric? And then have Liz start in on Carly about dating Liz's son's kidnapper.
Posted by: stlbf | March 27, 2014 at 12:04 AM
So when Carly is talking to whatshername and they're bonding over martinis, she says she will always hurt anyone who harms one of her children.
Except, I guess, if she's sexing one of the perps up. Franco hurt one of her children - Michael - badly, and tried his best to hurt Joss - but I guess she explains that away as the TUMOR.
Unless she means that sleeping with her IS the ultimate punishment - which it very well may be.
If that's the case, I wish like hell she'd sex up Sonny and KILL the moobster with her "kindness" already.
Posted by: boes | March 27, 2014 at 07:40 AM
^^ LOL.
I FLOVE Donna Mills but cannot watch one of her scenes to completion. Why trap such an actress in a such a bad story? Is Madeline her character's name? For shame, I haven't paid close enough attention. Anyway, Madeline reminds me of Helena as played by Constance Towers.
Posted by: Soapbaby | March 27, 2014 at 08:47 AM
God, I so hate the idea of Niz, especially as from what I've read we're supposed to find sleeping with your brother's wife romantic because it indicates how deep and true and epic your love is. Gag.
Posted by: Trippyjr | March 27, 2014 at 03:45 PM
LOVED this episode and reveal. Yes, it was stupid for Lulu to leave the letter. But it was a plot point. First, they had been setting it up to make Lulu look a little cray cray so they wouldn't believe her at first. Second, Liz could come in with the letter, Nik could go off on her and send her right into Ric's arms. Nik-Liz-Ric. RC wants his triangles.
But I loved seeing Britt get hers. Although I did think that Lante were really the wronged party after having their baby stolen, a lot more than poor Nik's broken heart and hurt pride.
I thought the highlight was Dante finally unleashing all his fury on this woman who had caused he & Lulu so much pain. (amazing performances) . Dante is a strong man who often struggles to keep his emotions in check, he is just not a crier like Patrick.
But I l especially loved the scene when Lante realized they were parents together. (By that time the only ones witnessing it were the grandmoms, Britt & Nik.) Yes, it was passionate, LOL, but I didn't think in a sexual way. I remember the elation that my husband & I felt when our children were born and that was what it felt like to me. A very moving moment.
I have no explanation why all the grandparents left before Lante got their baby. LOL
Posted by: Janeway | March 27, 2014 at 04:06 PM
I'm sorry, but I am so over Dr. O. Yes the actress is good, but Robin Mattson is great, and has proved it on other shows that were not ridiculous over-the-top sandwich-based campfests, and yet, even though Heather has actually committed fewer crimes at this point, she is not the mayor and she at least gets taken away for cursory periods between crime sprees. Ron ruins everything he touches by taking it too far, I was over the Jason and Sonny no consequences for anything ever thing decades ago.
Posted by: QuA | March 28, 2014 at 02:58 PM
I enjoyed the histrionics, the lunatic sobbing, the evil cackling Obrecht--it was awesome! and entertaining! Also, LiRic still has that old magic, but I'm afraid Ric is just back to be framed by Fake Luke as Julian's backer, leading to Sonny shooting yet another person who he wrongly suspects. Ugh.
Posted by: Jennyp | March 28, 2014 at 08:54 PM
The reveal was fun! I really am loving LiRic but Ric needs to back off a tad. BTW, I never understood why everyone in town loves to dump on the man so much. It seems to me his crimes aren't any worse than everyone else in town except for maybe his daughter Molly and she's still young. Give her a couple of years.
Posted by: lel | March 29, 2014 at 11:05 PM
The acting of most in this wasn't well done it was pretty predictable. I thought
Liz and Nik carried off a lackluster reveal. Along with Brad/Luke scenes these actors made it worthwhile. Really enjoy Brad' reaction expressions.
Lulu stumbling and bumbling like a deranged nitwit wasn't what I wanted to see. I wanted her to punch Britt out.
Britt's dress was more than awful and I've never been a fan of her acting.
Posted by: Cyberologist | March 30, 2014 at 05:13 AM