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« Stranger Danger | Main | 2014 Daytime Emmy Nominations Announced Amid Zero Fanfare! »

April 28, 2014

The Crossroads of Apathy and Irritation

General Hospital is--I can hear you all jumping in to finish that sentence. "Dullsville!" "Terrible!" "Conspicuously absent from my DVR's list of recorded series!" "Still on?!--and all of those suggested endings are spot on, although what I was planning to say was that it's exceedingly...difficult. It's difficult to sit through (there are some episodes that were I just a little bit crazier would cause me to become CONVINCED that there is a science fiction plan afoot that messes with the passage of time, because there is no way they are a mere sixty minutes long. Sixty HOURS, maybe) and it's difficult to write about and it's difficult to know exactly how I feel about it. Like, there are moments when I am SO BORED that I become progressively more irritated, but then there are moments when I am SO AGHAST AND/OR ANGRY that I don't even have it in me to give it another thought, because it would just be too bad for my blood pressure. It's an endless cycle of boredom and irritation and repression.

Also, I am now worried about how I will react the next time I come across a person named Sabrina. Will I wail "SABRRRRRRRRRINA?!" at her? I think I might!

In lieu of a real recap, let's instead make a list!

Things Less Terrible Than Sonny Corinthos, who is really living down to his reputation after after having sex with Ava in the crypt (this is a thing that happened. It was gross and seedy and disturbing, so much so that the fact that we all saw it coming didn't soften the blow of how gross it really was. Ick, yuck, etc.) and then trying to make Morgan feel too guilty to tell Olivia about it. It's a sign of how wholly I dislike Sonny that I found myself so passionately protective of Olivia, a character who I detest in like 99% of situations, but boy was I all "How DARE he?" today.

1. Everything.



Ron wins again. He is just too awful. I've been trying to resist hating Sabrina, granted mostly by fast forwarding her scenes, but when Patrick pulled her out of the car and left his daughter inside? I can't anymore.

I also feel sorry for the poor kids. It's not their fault I don't want to watch Nickelodeon. There used to be this reality show with this guy who forced his 10 kids to move to NY and pursue acting, which none of them wanted to do. He basically sabotaged their chances of ever being hired with horrible coaching because he didn't know what he was doing. Once these poor kids graduate from Ron's training school of screaming, moronic camp, they'll have picked up so many bad habits that they'll be completely unemployable in the future.

I hope those rumors are true that MB wants to take a six month vacation, because Sonny is so played out and ruins everything.

What is the point of Olivia still being on this show? Do we really need all of the women that Sonny has slept with (Olivia, Carly, Alexis, Sam and Ava) on this show?

The newbies have all of the stories!

Sonny is ridiculous. He clearly does not give a crap that he hurt Morgan, but now he's all judgey about Morgan hurting Olivia?

Take a stadium of seats, Sonny.

I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo GLAD I stopped watching this crap fest the minute Kimberly said how they were going to write Robin off was awful. Sooooooooooo glad. This show SUCKS, it's DISTURBING and all kinds of HORRIBLE. Why won't they please cancel it????

I don't want to see soap fans lose another soap. FV needs to reign in RC and put a stop to all of the newbies filling up my screen. It is time to cut 10 to 15 characters and shore up the Hardy/Webber/Quartermaine families.

I'm not sure it would be easy to save the show at this point. None of the storylines are working and most of the characters who need to be cut are on all the time. Unless ABC agrees to just wipe the slate clean and pretend these people never existed, it would take ages just to write them all off.

Mallory, you deserve a medal for sitting thru this crapfest for us. You should also draw combat pay.
I'm infinitely glad I stopped tuning into this show. I think I figured out what TPTB are up to with all these newbies and dumb ass storylines. They want to create their own soap, but since the genre is fading out, the only way for them to get that is to take over a current show and just phase out all the characters we know and love and bring in their own. It started slowly at first and gained momentum and time went on.Hence the crap we now see on our screens. Jmho....

This crypt sex is exactly why I shut the show off. Again. I wanted to see some of AJ's funeral, so I dvr'd it. FF almost all of the show.I have always hated Scummy. So I am not surprised. Now what really kills it, is, I don't like anyone else either. Re-Ron has ruined Anna, Patrick, Nickolas, Etc.I wanted to smack Duke for making a complete fool out of Anna They can have ten NB's I am done stick a fork in me. Mallory how do you do it.? Watch this swill. I liked Olivia when she was with Johnny, not now how can anyone be so stupid ? Well Re_Ron fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.LAst time they killed off AJ for ????oh yes wanting to know his son, I shut the show off for seven years Mallory hope they pay you the big bucks for watching , or at least keep you in barf bags.Maybe they are trying to get the show cancelled

"They want to create their own soap, but since the genre is fading out, the only way for them to get that is to take over a current show and just phase out all the characters we know and love and bring in their own. It started slowly at first and gained momentum and time went on. Hence the crap we now see on our screens."

^^ Michelle, I hadn't thought of this and yet it makes total sense. I happen to agree with your very astute assessment.

does this mean carlivati is worse than Guza, or did just Carlivati just come at the end of years of GH watching where you would have developed GH fatigue even if Guza were still writing?

Oh, Ghost Mallory. I'm taking credit for inspiring this, even if only in passing. :)

FV is cheap, so I can see him and RC getting rid of most of the higher paid vets and replacing them with newbies.

MissyLady-- Ding Ding-- I think you win the prize... it is money and the newbies cost less than the vets.... Patrick not saving Emma 1st -- WHAT-- how can any parent not save their child before anyone else. SO glad I gave up watching GH-- don't even know the characters. I thought Guza was bad but at least it was characters-- I knew-- I think they RC & FV wanted to create their own soap and use their own characters and they are.. Gave up when Robin was "killed" off. Haven't watched since--didn't even watch her return. I hate that AJ was killed off again, I hate Sonny .. I hate Franco-- it is truly irrational how much I hate a fictional character of Franco-- and I like RH as an actor but can't stomach Franco... HATE FRANCO and think he is the worse character ever created for GH-- which is saying something. Thank Mallory for your keen insight as to why I don't need to watch GH anymore!

If you get rid of one expensive vet and replace it with one newbie, you save money. If you bring a dozen newbies AND bring back a bunch of vets for stunt casting but only get rid of a few contracts (AJ, Spin, Connie, Steven, Matt), you don't save money.

I still think Guza is worse, but I will say, at least he told stories. Awful
stories, sexist stories, stories I didn't want to see, but stories. Ron doesn't seem to understand that this is a show, unless he thinks it's a sketch show or something. He has no respect for the genre. There's no internal logic to anything, nothing makes sense. Establish something today, erase it tomorrow. Anything for a laugh. All day everyday with children. Take psychotic killers and give them monologues and musical numbers. Stunt casting. Traveling circuses. He just seems to feel he can do anything that pops into his head.

Utoob - that's what polluted water supplies are for. And college in California (I'm looking at you, Molly, Rafe, TJ and Taylor).

I'm willing to concede that I'll never like EVERY storyline that's going. That's to be expected. My primary beef with the show right now is that the writers create emotional moments and then drop them for weeks, expecting us to fill in the blanks. For example, Anna and Duke. They had a huge fight about him working for the mob. Tears, lots of tears, and yelling. And then....nothing. We see Anna at work, just doing her thing, and Duke making casual references to meeting her for dinner. It's like that fight never happened. An effective story can't be told like this.

Anna and Duke is a great example. FV and RC don't care about them, so they're never going to break them up or give them anything to do. They're only there as support to the kids, Sonny, and for the occasional police procedural scene. But, they're given one meaty scene that leads nowhere except to establish that Anna will never take a stand and this isn't going to be a story in any real sense. It's so RC's MO with everyone and then he acts like the fans and actors should be pathetically grateful that every once in a while there's a dramatic scene in the midst of all this dull, pointless repetitiveness.

Hey come on! Nina's ALIVE! She's ALIVE! How can you be bored and angry knowing that Nina didn't really die and will soon be coming back to us??

GH is so irredeemably campy at this point, I think all of these new characters I don't care about should be recast with vets who are already allegedly on-contract or recurring. It can only make things better.

Also, just wondering but does anyone actually live in Port Charles these days? Annoying Doctor what's-her-name keeps running around shrieking that when the world finds out what Anna and Robert did to Faison, they'll be sorry--as if anyone would care. However, at least where I live, if the DA let a violent criminal off the hook because of personal circumstances involving a police detective, it would be a huge scandal and everyone would be on the hook for corruption, cronyism, and endangering the public. Apathetic press/population they got there.

What I don't understand is why the ratings don't reflect what a crapfest this show has turned into over the past six months. When Cartini first took over, they got back former viewers, including me. The writing was strong and ratings rose. Then somehow Frons and Guza took over their bodies. But people are still watching! Why? Could someone please tell me why? I quit the day AJ started drinking again. I knew the show was going to turn into Sonny is King all over again.

The ratings are on a downslide, aren't they? But in general I think most of us understand that this is pretty much it. Ron and Frank aren't going to be fired and replaced by better people, the show's just going to be cancelled. And many of us still have an actor or character or two or a handful that we're attached to. If Finola leaves, I'm gone for good, but as long as she's on once in a while it doesn't take much of a time investment to just DVR the show and fast forward the whole thing most days.

Cosign. If Ron and Frank were just passing through I'd quit watching until things got better. Since they're there to the end, I'll keep watching until my faves get fired or quit.

I understand how the newbies are cheaper than the vets, but Ron & Frank need to embrace quality, not quantity. There are SOOOO many newer characters, yes a show needs new blood, but to get back viewers they should focus more on fan favorites. Get rid of 10 useless characters and maybe you can afford to have Anna, Duke, Lucy, Kevin, Scotty, Mac, etc. etc. on for more than cameo appearances in the midst of silly unbelievable stories. I'm so disillusioned with RC. It all seemed so promising just a short while ago. Killing off AJ was so they could give Sonny a meaty story. I think he has appeared on our screens enough that we didn't need this to bring even more angst to the mobster. And doing it in a crypt in front of the dead bodies of AJ, Alan, Emily, Justus, Edward, and Lila Quartermaine...I know it's just a show, but to me that was disgusting. So is dumbing down smart characters just to advance the agenda with clowns like Dr. O and Franco and despicable murderers like Sonny & Ava. Like others have said above, I'm just FFing stuff I don't like. Embrace the freedom of FFing Franco, Nathan and the "Nina" story! You can pretend they don't even exist! It's wonderful :)!

The only thing I enjoyed watching this week was Morgan throwing up in Sonny's face that Sonny tried to kill Morgan's beloved stepfather Jax. While I was happy to hear Morgan at least still cares about Jax, it made me sad that there's another character sacrificed on the altar of all-Sonny, all the time.

The "new soap" theory makes perfect sense to me. It warms my heart that the Bonehead Brothers got shut out of the major Emmy categories.

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