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« Brief Musings on Nashville: All Or Nothing With Me | Main | A Big (Nurses) Ball Of Fun »

May 08, 2014

Heavy Meta

Can we start off by giving some major props to Yoplait for negotiating the terms of their sponsorship of the Nurse's Ball? Because between the logo on the step and repeat on the Nurse's Ball red carpet (which is a thing. A thing that I would normally scoff at but it led to the completely charming scenes of Britt and Brad watching and commenting on the Nurse's Ball arrivals and I found that delightful--rewinding Sam's fall? So mean that I wish they were real and willing to liveblog an episode of this show with me--so I will let the contrivance of the whole thing slide) and Lucy's profuse thanks for their sponsorship, I have Greek yogurt on the brain. This is not actually a departure from my normal state of affairs because I have Greek yogurt every day for lunch and it's also not Yoplait that I am suddenly craving (while I do enjoy their coconut vanilla variety, I admit that I am hopelessly addicted to Yopa. With the toppings? It's like dessert, for breakfast, lunch, snack, dessert, midnight snack), so maybe it didn't work quite as well as they hoped, but at the same time, I am thinking and talking about yogurt, so they have to consider that a semi-win.

Now we can move on to the "I see what you did there!" portion of the festivities.

Lucy: Wow. That makes this our 20th anniversary. Now, we did miss a few years...but, um, I think that was just for misguided reasons.

Brad: That...is one nutty hospital.

Trying just a little too hard, show. Just a little.

I am planning--provided that I have enough wine and chocolate and, apparently, Greek yogurt, to make it a tolerable, if not pleasant, experience--to do a full-on Nurse's Ball recap this weekend, which will probably take me at least eight hours to write, because I know myself well enough to know that I will find myself lost in a YouTube wormhole watching clips of prior Nurse's Ball episodes until, like, 3 in the morning. And then I will think to myself "Have I really never watched every Eddie Man video uploaded to YouTube?!" and will have a Ned and Lois mini-marathon. I am adorably predictable.

UNTIL THEN, let's discuss the following together:

  • How awful on every level Levi is
  • The unbelievable assholishness (IT'S A WORD!) of Sonny expecting Dante to accept "It was nothing" as an excuse for cheating on Olivia
  • My ever increasing discomfort and annoyance with the third grade love triangle (although the child who plays Spencer did have some good reaction shots as he realized that Cam's insulting predictions were all coming true. Also, is it weird that I have still not accepted this SORASed recast as Cam? It is, right? Like, very weird? I thought so.)
  • Dr. O's performance, which was the kind of moment that simultaneously made you applaud Kathleen Gati for being so tremendously talented but also sort of wail "Whaaaaaaat?" at your television.


Britt and Brad were awesome. And I loved in the preview when Brad suggested they head to the ball, Britt's face was all, "I'm having a ball, dude, with this pint of ice cream right here!"

NOBODY puts Liesel in a corner, bravo, Dr. O!

The up side to Levi: he's only around for a couple of months and we're supposed to hate him, so there's that at least.

On any normal show, Dr. Cartoon's terminally tiresome antics would be the prelude to a murder mystery. Here, RC is tweeting that her scene with the dummy is the greatest scene in GH history, with the Cameron/Spencer scenes second. I believe he actually means it, too. Don't worry Ron, you'll always be #1 in the unbelieving eyes of The Soup.

As much as I can't stand Guza, that shade is a little much. The NB is supposed to be more about heart, tributes, HIV, than cheesy musical numbers and product placement commercials. It may have been discontinued for the wrong reasons, but ultimately they would have done a terrible job with it, so it's for the best. People who throw a Robinless ball as a campfest to prop idiotic cartoon characters (like that's different from any other day on GH) shouldn't throw stones.

I first read "third grade love triangle" to mean that they were a C-storyline at best, then realized you were talking about their ages. How old is a third-grader? Spencer's artwork looked more on the first grade level. Based on actual birthdates, Cameron is older than Spencer is older than Emma, right? So they have averaged their ages so they are all the same?

Not!Cam should be older than Kristina and Molly, I do believe. And I still refuse to believe that kid is Cam. I don't know if both Not!Cam and HamSpencer are both not great child actors or if it is all the god awful writing. Who has ever heard a trio of 6/7 year olds talk like this?
So Dante is cool with Daddy shooting him in the chest, being a mobster and murderer, but Sonny nailing some woman while in some oddly undefined relationship with Dante's Mommy is too much? WHATEVER.
Not kidding. I want this damn ELQ/Jerome crap to get moving. Sick of this creepy Not!Luke crap. And no one noticing his weird behavior.

So much second-hand embarrassment for the fictional characters and the actors who play them! Ugh. All of it was cringe-worthy save Dr. O's finale. :-) That was more delicious than any variety of Yoplait's (TM) Greek-style yogurt.

A few observations:

1. Patrick is not in attendance (although Emma is a headliner.) This Scrubs fan hates how Robin's memory continues to be trashed. Robin was the reason for the goddamned Nurses' Ball in the first place!!!

2. Liz has recovered enough from her gunshot wound in time to learn and perform choreography but is still holed up at Wyndemere? Plot point much? Liked her dress (loved it being backless) but not the color on her. And you know Becky Herbst created it herself and it stands up against any designer dress. LiRic is so pretty it's like looking directly at the sun. Nikolas, who?

3. Alexis wore too much makeup. Has NLG had a different hairstyle since 2002?

4. Everyone looks so awkward on the red carpet. I do think most of the dresses were pretty though. Jane Elliott looked the most fabulous.

5. No Monica Quartermaine. That just makes me sad.

6. Epiphany has been MIA for months and now only trotted out in a sequin trash bag for the Nurses' Ball. Hey y'all, look at Grimace being escorted by that really hot piece of plywood!

7. How old is Maxie? She's immature but not a kid, so being controlled by some hippie hurts her character. It's so obvious that Levi is so unlikable so that the audience will 'ship Maxie and Nathan, versus writing any subtle nuance.

8. Lucas and Felix look so awkward together but I think the actors are better than Perry Shan (Brad.) He has the better character but a poor actor.

9. I enjoyed Brad and Britt but no matter how it's written, I cannot feel bad for Britt and her feeling bad for herself makes me dislike the character even more. She has suffered zero consequence for her multiple crimes.

10. Lynn Herring is a national treasure.

11. The kiddie triangle fails on all levels. So Emma is a prize with no point of view? I guess no different than the other triangles in soaps. It's not at all charming. What's wrong with kids being kids? OLTL's Sam Manning was perfectly written and cast and a kid with kid-dialogue/behavior.

And I still miss the original Cameron...often. Where's Aidan?


FINALLY. Kathleen Gati for ALL of the wins!!! Dr. O's "Cabaret" routine single-handedly saved the episode. Sure the character is overexposed and ridiculous but my goodness, the actress is phenomenal.

All in all a rather clumsy start to The Nurses' Ball. Last year was horrible and this year can only be an improvement as there will be no Sobrina or Richard Simmons but geez.

What happened Carvialti? OLTL's "Vicker Man" premiere was a classic soap event, uber campy and satisfying moments leading to a stellar ending (and probably one of my favorite episodes of OLTL ever.) Carvialti just can't seem to get it right on GH. Honestly, I think he's burnt out.

Kristina was born in 2002, Morgan in 2003, Cam in 2004, Molly in 2005, Spencer in 2006, Jake in 2007, Emma in 2008 and Josselyn in 2009. Cam was deSORAS'd by FV, because he said Liz looked too young to have a ten year old kid, but I sure miss the old Cam and his uber bitch faces!

Yes, OLTL's Spidey Sam Manning was in kid oriented stories, BUT he was cousins with Jessica daughter Bree, so they could RC could not write kiddie romances with those two.

Yes, OLTL's Vickeman was soapy and fun, but the show die not have the huge budget to keep so many contract and recurring cast members for RC to keep story pacing off track.

Yes, Becky Herbst is young, but Elizabeth was having her kids barely out of her teens. I still think that Cam and Spencer should be fighting over Molly and not Emma. I find the whole story line with Emma, Cam, and Spencer a bit sexist. So they're fighting over and she has no right to say who she wants to be with? To me Levi is just an Australian version of Spinelli.

Ron has given the cheesiest scenes in GH history, but he can do better. I'm here for Heather Webber using Mr. Marbles to kill Dr. O, then making him into a pine box (onscreen), nailing her in and going out to perform 10 original songs about BLTs. This isn't a show anymore, it's a parody of a show, and there's no point in half measures. Godzilla vs. Mothra, only actually cheesier, and for sure, longer, than any dubbed Japanese film ever could be.

Elizabeth was SORAS'd to eighteen in 1999, so she was twenty-three when Cam was born, but the truth is the show should have never written in Becky's real life pregnancies in late 2003/early 2004 and 2010. Elizabeth on the show is suppose to be 32/33, but Becky looks way too young to have teenagers/twenty somethings like Carly, Ava, Silas, Julian, Sonny, etc... and to be honest, I don't really think Guza had any plans what so ever with Cam long term since Zander was his dead father.

Just a few things.. Becky H tweeted that she DID NOT design that dress.

Spencer's art work with dead and bloody Cam was just a bit disturbing yes? This 8-9 year old loves a little girl SO much he wishes death on his cousin? You go RC! First the chupacabra almost murder of Carly by kids with pitch forks, Ava threatening pregnant Sabrina and then little Emma threatened and run off the road and now this? I don't care for it.

I adored Dr. O and her number! So much better then the stupid song and dance preceding.

Love Britt and can't wait to see what is next for her character.

You've all said it better than I could - this show has become a parody of a soap and it's actually a little painful to watch. We've lost so many shows - and some pretty good ones, so to see the remaining ABC soap made into a joke, to see characters made into caricatures, and to see cartoon characters hog up screen time is as sad as it is infuriating.
Whoever it is that plays Dr. O, yeah, she's got some talent, I suppose, underneath all the ham - all the ham that's written for her by Ron C. But characters like this always worked best in small doses. And she's the main course most weeks. Frankly I can't stand her. I'd take Woody the Super Detective over her, just because I can take bad acting over the parody of GH that she represents. But wait...he's her son, and she's his MUTTER. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH.
I wonder why Ron C. is doing this. He did some bad stuff on OLTL, that's for sure - the Ford brothers - and he's always had a weakness for admiring his own humor - but what he's done on GH is so beyond anything he did on OLTL.
I'm not finding anything funny on GH anymore. It just makes me sad, and sadder still to see the show brought so low and so disrespected by a writer who I thought knew better.

RC is living out his childhood fantasies from when he watched GH with all of the 1980's and campy stuff. Up next, Casey the Alien comes home with a baby that he stole from the hospital!

MissyLady...LOL. He just cant do it. The 80's were campy fun, but done right with interesting fun characters, new and vets interwoven not newbies paraded 15 at a time and force fed on the fans. You just cant make some of these people fun. We need Chandy the Chandelier....now that was campy fun and useful for ridding us of the Fords on OLTL.

I just had a horrible thought:

- We know Ronn Moss is supposed to make a "cameo" during the Ball.

- Lucy announced the arrival of "Blackie Parrish!" during the ending tag Friday, but we never actually see him.

- There's been no news or rumors of John Stamos making a GH guest appearance.

I think you know where I'm going with this one, folks...

John Stamos pushes another yogurt so I don't see him showing up with Yoplait as the sponsor, however, you never know when it comes to RC/FV!

I don't mind camp, but not when it's used repeatedly like with Heather, Franco, Connie, and Dr.O to the point where it becomes dumb.

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