Please Don't Be Foreshadowing
There was a LOT that I was planning to say about today's General Hospital--all right, that is a lie. Possibly the biggest lie I've ever told. I have things to say about today's General Hospital, but certainly not a lot of them, especially since they all boil down to "ugh". Like, Britt scheming with Spencer to get Nikolas back; is there any bigger guarantee of a romantic reunion than faking the disappearance of a small child? That tends to get people hot and bothered, right? Although it IS Nikolas we're talking about, so there was actually a chance that this could have worked in Britt's favor, grossly. Ugh. I'm intrigued in the identity of Fake Luke, but not so intrigued that I've given any brainpower into thinking of who this dastardly man could be; it's more the "Can we fast forward to the big reveal so that I can complain about it with concrete facts at my disposal?" Also, Julian saying "Peace out, bitch" made me uncomfortable in a variety of ways. Ugh. See what I mean? What more can be said? Did anything else even happen? I know Tracy was on, begging for a heart for Alice, but (a) did she really think that a lack of heroin is the only criteria for an organ transplant and also (b) ugh.
The point of the story is that there were things to be said, maybe even incorporating full sentences and a paragraph or two, but then THIS happened and my BLOOD WENT COLD and I am TERRIFIED TO GO TO SLEEP.
Spencer: She was the best person ever, but I never got to meet her.
Josslyn: She's beautiful. Do you know what she was like?
Spencer: No. Every time I ask my dad about her, he gets really sad, so I just stopped asking.
Guys, they showed a picture of Courtney. After paying her ridiculous compliments ("the best person?" The best at what? There are so many jokes about women of ill-repute and also massive dumbness that I want to make, but it's getting me tongue-tied and my fingers are cramping), they showed her onscreen. Why? What is happening? She won't come back from the dead, right? She can't be a ghost, can she? I feel profoundly unsettled and will be sleeping with the lights on. So much of GH's history is forgotten and ignored, but THIS DARK ERA is untouchable? Why?
The peace out bitch line was so stupid, inappropriate and OOC for Julian. Just another example of the writers amusing themselves, giving RC something to tweet and not thinking about whether the line fits the character.
These people are just such amateurs, so sophomoric and just so untalented. Stupid lines, (that are outdated by the way), shirtless underwear models who can't act, a scenery chewer in a wheelchair, the constant struggle to make Franco relevant despite Howarth's terribly uneven acting and Todd-lite schtick and the unwillingness to realize that Michael Easton is a walking sleep aid has made this show unwatchable.
Posted by: Matilda | July 31, 2014 at 08:50 PM
I gagged at the sight of Kung Fu Wannnabe Barbie and laughed myself silly at Spencer's comments about his pole riding mother who killed a cop.
Posted by: MissyLady | July 31, 2014 at 09:06 PM
I found it interesting that Nik was so sad when he asked about Courtney, As well as the fact he was cheating with her on Joss's Dad!! and her Mom tried to steal him away from Nik!! Wonder when they will find that out!!
I dread Robin's return and Sabrina's for different reasons.
Posted by: Special Mom | July 31, 2014 at 09:31 PM
Courtney...the best person ever?...I feel dizzy. The sight of her picture is a bad omen that I hope is not what it looks like it is. My God, of the all the past characters, living and dead, why in the world would they bring her back. I never liked her and was glad when they got rid of her. But this, unfortunately fits a terrible pattern I'm afraid.
Yes, Silas is walking Ambien, Franco makes me long for Todd, Joss just scares me, and the constant parade of shirtless men who also bore me...well as you said Mallory...ugh...
Posted by: Nancy | August 01, 2014 at 12:07 AM
Courtney Possible's (thinly veiled reference to Kim Possible...)coming back??!!! Nooooooooo!!!! And. Ugh.
Posted by: Linda S | August 01, 2014 at 08:42 AM
God, Courtney? They ignored that character for years on this show, until just recently when all of a sudden Spencer started to spend time with his Uncle Sonny. And why would Nikolas be okay with that given how much he loathes Sonny? Nikolas and Courtney had a brief affair . If he's sad at all, it would have to be from guilt that he cheated on Emily.
Posted by: Elizabeth K. Mahon | August 01, 2014 at 10:29 AM
What a fun game! Let's see, what is Courtney best at?
-being the worst
-snagging wealthy men
-being lame
-dying (so that BETTER NOT be taken away from her; death is her best pairing)
"Peace out, bitch" can be a funny line, but it doesn't fit with Julian's character and was just odd.
Is the show more concerned about "awesome" one-liners and funny digs found on the internet than it is telling actual stories and pacing? If so, those are not good goals.
Posted by: realbrenda4evr | August 01, 2014 at 01:46 PM
Jason Borg Morgan and Courtney The Skipper B!tch are coming back to GH?!! Bwaaaahahahaha!
Posted by: Poker face | August 01, 2014 at 09:41 PM
Spencer--- she was the best-- Courtney???!!! OMG --
Were Joss and Spencer going to talk about the time Joss's father pretended Spencer was his son-- were they going to discuss that Joss's father and Spencer's mother were married and Nik had an affair with her!!!!
ICK -- if Courtney is coming back...
Posted by: TIsh | August 01, 2014 at 10:18 PM
Well, this is the show where sleeping with your brother's wife equals epic fated true love forever and guys swoon at the feet of cartoon terrorists, so it can only be a romantic start for the latest preschool sensation who'll be hogging 90% of the airtime.
Posted by: Trippyjr | August 02, 2014 at 12:57 AM
I managed to see that Spencer/Joss conversation live. Thought for a moment that they were going to show Emily(the only real mother figure Spencer had for his early years. Next was Elizabeth. Liz had Spencer forever after that, until Nik moved full time to Europe with Leslie) Then shrieked in horror when That Skipper Bitch's picture was flashed. I just can't. Not again.
Skipper Bitch needs to stay dead. And I will demand for a priest coming to perform an exorcism if need be. The only good thing that ever came from Skipper was her funeral. And the not so shocking revelation that she could stare @ snowglobes for HOURS. And dammit, that DOG SAVED HIMSELF! Y'all should know what I mean.
Posted by: stlbf | August 02, 2014 at 01:57 AM
Unpopular opinion alert: I like Courtney and would not mind her return... should have happened when AJ was here though.
Ugggh, I just reminded myself of what they did with AJ's return.
Posted by: SaneN85 | August 02, 2014 at 11:26 PM
I could make a long post about how much GH sucks. You Matilda pretty much said everything that I was thinking! I hate to say this but Michelle Stafford is a scenery chewer. I never thought I would type that.
As for Countney? LOL! I remember the horribleness of the early 2000s when the show was about her, Jason, Carly and Sonny. It was really bad. I honestly thought I had blocked that out but then the memories came flooding back. Didn't Nik cheat on Emily a little bit after Emily got raped? I remember Nik being a selfish son of a something.
I also remember the actress who played her was a vapid blonde on The L Word who didn't speak and was known as "My Lover Cindy". To be honest it probably is a better character than Courtney was.
Also I am going to make a guess on who this fake Luke is. In my opinion it's makes sense with what has been passing as story for the past couple of years. That is Susan Stanwyck. It would certainly make things interesting at least.
Posted by: LJMartiz | August 03, 2014 at 10:33 PM
that slut?? BEST PERSON EVER??? WTF??? Man I'm soo glad I don't watch this crap anymore. UGH.
Posted by: gjb | August 03, 2014 at 10:43 PM
I never loved Courtney but I never understood the level of hate toward the character (I felt the same way about Emily.) Yes, Courtney & Jason sucked and shared no chemistry but I feel the same way about Sam & Jason and they had fans.
Seriously, Sam is the brunette version of Courtney. Yep, I said it.
Posted by: soapbaby | August 04, 2014 at 11:28 AM
Okay, the kids' triangle is just pathological. They're recycling scripts from the late 90's with the blond girl playing Carly and Emma as Robin. Preschoolers calling each other self-centered princesses and saying things like "It's my fault, all he ever tried to do was be with me and I kept turning him down"? Not cute, not funny, wrong on so many levels.
Posted by: Silvertone | August 04, 2014 at 02:29 PM
I was feeling very comforted as I told myself this could not really be what is happening because, after all, nobody was really out there in viewerland clamoring for Courtney's return. And then I remembered that nobody was really out there in viewerland clamoring for Franco's return, either--and somebody at ABC thought it was a great idea anyway.
Seriously--Courtney? I just can't fathom the logic there, but OK, admittedly, I can't fathom a lot of the logic of the decisions in the last year to 18 months.
Posted by: Michael | August 04, 2014 at 08:22 PM
You really have to question the mentality of an executive team that thinks what this show is lacking is Courtney and a 6 year old version of Carly.
Posted by: Trippyjr | August 04, 2014 at 10:10 PM
Please let Robin's story about St. Jasus be true! All of this is completely stupid and nonsensical, but if St. Jasus of Port Charles is completely dead, then I can work with it.
Posted by: stlbf | August 06, 2014 at 04:40 PM
Jason is not dead. RC is not done with all of his doppelgangers, so look for Jason #2, 3, 4, 5 and 99 to hit the show over the next year.
Posted by: MissyLady | August 06, 2014 at 11:46 PM
Clones are different. As long as the hitman is dead, Jason can have clones. Barring them also being serial killers.
Posted by: stlbf | August 07, 2014 at 12:29 AM
Damn it Robin! Why lie to me? Getting my hopes up! And now the Rafe stuff goes even more into crazy town. Hack writers, much much better to go with simple and believable. Not batshit crazy delusions.
And F You, Sonny. Really. Poor poor you. Your murdering and shooting of people had you "feeling guilty"? Not bad enough to turn yourself in to the police, though.
Posted by: stlbf | August 07, 2014 at 03:58 PM
@soapbaby -- the intense hate stemmed from the intense propping of this FOJ. Not unlike the level of hate toward many CarToony pets. Not only was she shoved into 4 couples but also made a relation to Sonny. It was ridic!
Posted by: Cornfed | August 14, 2014 at 09:26 AM
And also, thank you Mallory -- and fellow posters -- for making me laugh the hardest i have in a while. You almost make this awful show bearable, or at least MUST SEE READING! (I haven't actually watching GH since AJ flatlined)...
Posted by: Cornfed | August 14, 2014 at 11:53 AM
While I don't want to see Courtney back, I (small voice) see nothing wrong with a little boy thinking his mother was the best person ever. He's a kid who never knew his mom, what else would he make up for himself?
Posted by: Alina Adams | August 15, 2014 at 03:00 PM