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ยซ Precisely What No One Needed | Main | Watch This Space ยป

August 21, 2014

Back (Exhaustedly) From Outer Space

I have been, without a doubt, the world's lamest General Hospital blogger. Even lamer than the lamest of blogs, because at least those people are writing, albeit lamely, and I am sitting with my laptop out every single evening and the only thing I have to say about a complete hour of television is "[Silence] [Eyeroll] [Heavy sigh] [Does mental inventory of the kitchen cupboard to try and remember if there is Nutella in there] [Sigh] [Deletes episode] [Forgets what happened in the prior hour] [Shudders knowing that even without a memory, Sonny was probably there, grossing things up]" and not managing to write down a single thought. I've forsaken all of you for emotional eating, you guys. The guilt I feel is pretty epic (the ignoring of you, at least. Not so much the Nutella. Not at ALL the Nutella!).

But the problem with General Hospital is that sometimes...there is literally nothing to say.


  • 3/4 of today's show was complete filler. Did we need Ned and Alexis recapping the past few weeks? I mean, yes, I probably did because I often forget what happens in Port Charles minutes after they happen, but (A) that can't be the case for the entire audience and (B) I think it's less "faulty memory" and more "my brain feels sorry for me that that just happened". Patrick and Sabrina's conversation about Rafe was devoid of emotion, so that came across as more needless recapping. Basically every character had a line of dialogue that could be paraphrased as "Remember yesterday when that happened? This is how it went down. How do you feel about the thing that happened yesterday? It happened yesterday."
  • Fake Luke. Any interest I had in Fake Luke shriveled up and disappeared weeks ago. I know that Tony Geary's sabbatical impacted the planned story, but I'd rather it just be dropped completely and then pulled off of the backburner like it hadn't been ignored for weeks (what, like that has never happened?) than have these random teases just to tread water.
  • Sonny and Carly MY EYES MY EYES MY EYES MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON MY EYES. I can't say much more, on account of the physical reaction I have to them (I literally just made my peace with limo sex!), but in a related story: I posed a question on Facebook that I'd love you darling commenters to answer as well: what is your least favorite, most hated soap couple of all time?

 So where does that leave us, in terms of conversation? We're best off just talking about Nutella, no?


Just one couple? I think I'm going to say Jason & Courtny. I , back in the day, was a huge Liz/Jason shipper. I recently went to YouTube to see if those old episodes would still do it for me. They do. Courtney showed up and I remember how upset I was by them. It felt like the final nail in the coffin for my couple. And I swear I still remember a scene when Jason tells Court that she is the first he loved. And when she asks about Robin & Liz the TPTB had him negate that whole backstory. I hate when they do that.

First of all, helloooo Mallory! I was worried that GH had made you literally sick, instead of just well, you know, bored, incredulous at the terrible writing, etc.
I have watching soaps for a long time, so there have been many couples I hated. But then Sonny and Emily came to mind. I mean, just major ick, no chemistry, no sense in that pairing. Just had to FF every scene, and I only wish I could do that with my brain recording.
welcome back!!

Today was really horrendous, although I was liking this week. For me, Canco is the worst couple so anything, even S&C, looks great compared to them.

Bev, I feel your pain. I fell in love with Jason and Liz back in 1999 after Lucky died and hated Frons' push to end all things Liason for Jason/Courtney and Jason/Sam.

I would love to see the vets day in and day out, but there is no way the network is going to pay for it, so we're stuck with the Levi's, Sabrina's, and silly Milo/Piph offscreen stories that make zero sense.

RC is like a kid in a toy shop that should have been reigned in last year with all of the newbies and stealing actors from other shows. Do we really need Franco, Nina, etc???

Can we jump back to Monday and talk about what a gross douchebag Nikolas is? Because he's gross. And a douchebag.

Call me crazy, but the Franco/Nina nonsense is freaking enjoyable.

Least favorite couple EVER? Probably Belle and Phillip from DAYS. I was obsessed with Shawn and Belle, and when she was with Phillip I was so angry. (Though I go back and watch scenes and I have no idea why I liked Shawn/Belle)

Most hated soap couple, I just can't. The list is getting so long I'm afraid I'll get carpal tunnel if I type it out. Now to the important issue, Nutella. The stuff largely sold in the US is too sweet. The imported original recipe is perfection ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ธ

I suggested elsewhere that Tony Geary should retire to Amsterdam like yesterday; have someone shoot Luke from offscreen in one of the skypes. I know it's not supposed to be Luke but what if it really is. Everyone could sort of shrug and say "whatever", then go about their day.

I would have to nominate either Jordan/Shawn, Liz/Nikolas or Sabrina/Patrick as most boring couple. And hated, it's a tie between Sonny/Emily and Jason and Courtney. I too thought that Jason/Liz were 'it' after Lucky 'died.'

I don't know why TPTB ignore potential couples to push their own agendas. Jordan and Julian have way more chemistry than Jordan/Shawn, although I could do without the endless scenes of Jordan trying to pry who their boss is out of Julian unless she plans on doing it with her tongue. And could Patrick and Sabrina's reunion been more awkward? Jason Thompson has gone on record as saying that the Patrick/Sabrina ship has sailed, so move on to Jason and Sam. And Milo & Epiphany? Come on, it's clear that Milo should be with Felix.

Soily (Sonny & Emily) is tied on my list with the rapemance between Victor/Marty. Neither relationship had a single redeeming factor.

FYI, today's episode isn't much better. Sigh.

Sonny/Emily, Liz/Nik, Sonny/'fill in the blank', Milo/Piph,

I literally LOL'd on my train commute at the Soily remark everyone thinks im crazy which u KNOW is bad in NY. I too would have to go with number #1 all time Dannifer on Days bc BOTH performers r dreadful and even worse together. Jason/Courtney would be a 2nd bc of the obvious propping and agenda by Frons. A special shout out to Charity Rahmer's Belle and Philip come to mind. Anyone w/ Farah Fath on either soap was painful. Ive been watching since 1979 so i'd need some time. Soily was DEFINITELY up there.

I've been watching soaps for 28 years and I'd have to think long and hard across all those years and all those soaps to come up with the absolute worst and be sure of it, but the most revolting in recent memory for me were Ford and Jessica on One Life to Live.

(Carly and Freako are incredibly revolting as well. Incredibly.)

Yes, Ford and Jessica on OLTL...only Chandy the Chandelier could save us from that atrocity RC foisted on us. Milo and Pip might be in the running if they decide to go with that. Dannifer on Days is pretty bad too. I like both characters better apart. Luke and Felicia, bad.

It is hard to top the horrors of OLTL's Ford/Jessica or Marty/Todd-VictorJr and their rapemances. Soily was awful. Actually any of Sonny's "romances" are disgusting. Course Emily Q2.0 was awful in all of her "romances" after poor Cameron was sacrificed for her to nail Nik. But St. JASUS and SkipperBitch was just as show consuming as Sonny/Carly but with no chemistry and with extra Jason retconning of he never loving before Skipper. And the joy of watching Skipper bravely beating a month long(maybe) drug addiction by St.Jasus tossing her pills off a beach. Who knew that was all you need to beat addiction!
God, I really really hated Jasus/Skipper.
Jason and Sam aren't much better.
Greg Vaughn's Lucky, I hated with Liz. Hated Lucky Mc Yellerton too. Lucky and Liz 2.0 was just sad. Like they couldn't decide what to do with them.

ATWT, I will forever hate Carly and Jack. Always. The one thing i liked about them was the running joke of their kid's bff's off screen mom hating the girl's name, Sage. Which i dislike on all levels. The woman call Sage: Rosemary, Thyme, and other herb names. It was like a writer was in my head!

Shane and Kayla. Oh, the humanity.

Oh, and FakeCassie and Josh on GL. This might jave worked when Laura Wright was still playing Cassie but reportedly Kim Zimmer wasn't having it.

Yes, OLTL's Ford and Jessica was all kinds of nasty, and I'm still furious that the show left him as Ryder's father and not Brody Lovett. Of course, in my world Brody is the father of Ryder AND Liam which would have put John's nose way out of joint.....LOL

In recent memory I have to say Sonny & Emily, probably tied with Carly & Freako...I mean Franco. For sheer boredom, Sam & Jason, and Sam & Silas. Can ME and KeMo inject SOME life into their scenes??

Sonny & Emily, Ridge & Bridget (weird much?), Daniel & Jennifer (dullll much), Laura & Scotty Take 3,000, Courtney Mathews and anybody she ever touched, Alexis & Shawn, Jordan & Shawn

Bo + anybody but Nora and Nora + anybody but Bo on OLTL. Also, Sonny + Emily on GH. Barf, barf and barf. However, I think my most, most, most hated was Kevin + Eve on PC. Gawd, I can barely even type that... I'm a hardcore Kevin + Lucy shipper and Eve was just....just SO NOT Lucy.

I forgot about Ridge & Bridget. The fact that she's named after he and Brooke....just....ewwww. I know it's only half an hour but damn, one botched paternity test and it's a VC Andrews novel.

My all time most hated is EJ and Sami on Days. Before you all throw tomatoes at me and yell "but they have chemistry and James Scott is hot!" I will actually concede both points. But if the show wanted to go that way, they needed to start them out any other way but with him raping her. And they needed to ramp them up any other way but "well now they share a child because he raped her so they have to be stuck together isn't that cute."

In keeping with the rapemance theme, I will throw another vote to Ford and Jessica. Brody is Ryder's father and I won't hear otherwise. In fact, Jessica got her brain together and she and Brody and the kids are living happily ever after.

ITA about GH it is boring and repetitive.

Most hated couple of all time--with out a doubt it is Victor Newman and anyone--I loathe that character. Sonny and anyone is second ewwwwww to both. I thank the soap gods i never saw Jason/Courtney seeing Jason/Sam was bad enough

I love, love, love, love, LOVE the idea of Jessica and Brody back together and raising the kids (and maybe a whole passel more) somewhere and living happily ever after. It almost takes the bad taste out of my mouth from Jessica and Ford (note that I said "almost"). Count me in.

While thinking back on ATWT days, how could I forget my undying hatred of all romances Jennifer Munson related. Dusty and Mike were all horrible. And her supposed victim act concerning Craig was sickening. At least GH's Sam had the decency to own her night with Ric. Or my anger @ the Paul/Emily "romance". God i hate them.

I, too am perfectly fine with Brody being the father of both Ryder and Liam. Happy day dreams!

Bridget and Ridge. Unbelievable that B&B even flirted with pairing them together. Puke worthy. If someone called you "Daddy"(or "Mommy") in their youth, you shouldn't dated them. Just a good rule of thumb to live by.

Other hate worthy bygone soap couples? I will forever hate Passions' Ethan and Theresa. HATE THEM! Horrific relationship example for girls. I talked to my nieces about their joint adoration of Theresa's stalkery ways and delusions about Ethan. Scary at how they really didn't see it as a bad thing. Just Theresa fighting for "her man". Didn't mind Theresa with Fox.


You guys have been making me laugh along with cry as I remember a lot of these horrible couples. I remember being subjected to Journey which I believe I was part of the core demographic for. I was in my teens and quite impressionable. So impressionable that I found them tolerable. Thinking back I have to wonder what the hell was wrong with me. I was recently watching some old stuff and youtube and came upon an episode from January of 2004 where Jason was accidentally drugged from Carly. After almost being raped by Faith Roscoe (You really can't make this crap up.) he ended at the old apartment he shared with Courtney. I literally laughed out loud when Courtney arrived and they kiss. Why? Literally Courtney said "oh my god" during the kiss like she was some 14 year old.

To this day there is one thing I'm confused about and it's not the existence of this couple. It's calling her skipper. Does that have to do with her jumping off that ship and miscarrying her baby with Jason circa 2003? I have always been confused about that.

As for other couples? Oh god this could take a while. Any couple that starts off with one raping the other or raping them at any point in their relationship. Like a previous poster said in regards to Sami and EJ. They can have all of the chemistry in the world, be the most attractive couple that ever existed on the soap opera. Once you force someone to have sex with you without their consent, it's over. I hate when soaps say crap like it was seduction or they were "having their way" with their victim. Romanticizing rape is never ok. That is why I never got the Luke and Laura thing. I get why Scotty was pissed all of these years. I have always thought that that couple was overblown and full of hype.

Then again I feel that way about a lot of supercouples. Very few in my opinion have legitimate chemistry. I also feel that sometimes you need to permanently break up a couple no matter how popular they are. Some couples do run their course. How many times have we seen great couples destroyed by horrible storylines that add in unnecessary melodrama? How many times have we seen couples do horrible things to each other just so they can be broke up and put back together? It just doesn't work. Unfortunately the writers pander to the fanbases instead of writing great stories and romances.

Here are some pretty horrible couples:

Ryan-Anyone-AMC (Post 2003)

There are quite a few more but this post is long enough as it is.

Courtney aka Skipper aka Kung Fu Barbie paired up with Jason so icky.

I'm relieved to see I was not the only one who did not "get" Luke and Laura. I will always be grateful to Michelle Val Jean for suggesting that the rape needed to be revisited, and once it was, I kind of "got" it and have been pretty much fine with Luke and Laura since then. But back in the day, no way. I don't care how many times that dreadful Gloria Monty insisted it wasn't a rape, it was a seduction. I saw the episode, Glo; I SAW Laura say no, repeatedly; and I saw that she was terrified. No, sorry, it was not a seduction, it was rape. While I wouldn't go so far as to put L&L on the list of worst/most hated soap couples--even I could see the tremendous chemistry that the two actors shared and sort of understand the value of what they were creating together, on screen--I would definitely put them on the list of "most disturbing." (That there were instances--multiple, repeated instances--of Tony Geary appearing at fan events where women were screaming "Rape me, Luke, rape me" is more than adequate testament to how sick the whole thing was.)

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