The Fosters: If You Only Knew

Personally I don't see how it's remotely fair that they gave us this adorability last week and then didn't even show Jude at all in last night's episode. Nevertheless, they did air an episode so I should probably say a thing or two:

- This week in Contrivances To Facilitate Sibling Romance, a magical sales clerk with the best memory in the whole world remembered that Callie bought a tiny figurine months ago that eventually came up in the police investigation of the kidnapping of Daphne's bio-daughter. How does this help a future romance between Callie and her still-just-foster bro? Well, Callie (in her infinite wisdom) has decided that she just loves Stef and Lena too much to disappoint them by explaining her part in helping to fix the situation by returning the kid, so instead she's going to break their hearts by announcing her plan to move in with her biological father.

Good call, Callie, they'll be way less disappointed now! Way to go! Jude, too, will be delighted! And somehow magically this will allow the show to eventually get Callie and Brandon back together to the delight of de-facto-sibling-romance lovers everywhere!

- Jesús has gotten an offer for a full ride wrestling scholarship to an all-boys school. Given that the offer was made in person directly to Jesús by a strange adult man, I can't help but wonder what "wrestling team at all-boys school" is a euphemism for. Any chance this guy was driving a white windowless van? Creepy.

- Mariana got contacts. MARIANA GOT CONTACTS, YOU GUYS. (I love Mariana and she was perfect in every way in this episode.)

- Pharm party! Worst idea ever! If taking an unknown pill out of a giant bowl of pills results only in Lou forgetting a couple of lyrics, I'd say she was a very, very lucky girl. Are these real things? The only parties where you draw something random out of a bowl and have to follow through on it that should exist are KEY PARTIES, people. 

- Lesbian Bed Death! DID I NOT PREDICT THIS?! I did! 

Lena is so sad she's impotent! Okay, really, all that happened was they had a bunch of low-orgasm-yielding sex and then decided to naked-cuddle afterwards, so that is really not the worst thing in the world. Can we talk about how awesome this was that they actually had these conversations on a non-niche television show? Thanks, J-Lo! (I realize she's just one of many producers, but I like saying that.)

Comments

[Kim]

Confession: I had to look up lesbian bed death. That's hilarious!

I miss Jude