Days of our Lives: Second Time in Salem

Well folks, I decided to watch Days of Our Lives today. So before I start live-blogging it (which really will just be recap since it's not like I'm posting in real time, but I don't know what else to call it), this is my relationship with the show: I have watched two episodes of it. Ever. Those two episodes were when Marlena was possessed by the devil. Or some other demon? I don't know but it was freakin' awesome. My point, though, is that I really am coming in knowing absolutely nothing. Running in soap circles means I know a few of the couples and a few of the names but truly not many. So bear with me, as I will probably get some names wrong or not know names at all or accidentally call them by names of characters they played on other shows or just identify them by the actors' names or just be all "this other middle aged white dude" about it. I don't know what I'm doing here. So this should be fun.

Ready?

Okay!

A blonde is flashing back to catching a young dude in bed with BLAIR DAIMLER, let's call her (no, let's not, I do know she's Eve on here but I had to get that out of my system) (any of you who ever read my OLTL posts know full well that Blair was my favorite character on that show, so let's all just face the fact that I'm biased in her direction here, especially if she's a bitch).

Apparently it was bad news for this blonde. I think this blonde is married to Scott Reeves. In real life, not on the show. I don't think he's on this show. Although he might be. 

Some other blonde is flashing back to a friendly moment with Lucky Spencer Actor #3, Greg Vaughan, my second-favorite Lucky. 

Dylan McKay's dad is talking to Kelly Taylor's ex-fiance and I can't really what they're talking about because Dylan McKay's dad has truly bizarre speech patterns. I wonder how many times this version of Dylan McKay's dad has come back from the dead. Just once on BH90210, I think. Sky's the limit on daytime, though.

Hey, it's Natalie Vega! (Notice how I am just going to pick my favorite last name for all the women, since all soap women have had like forty last names.)

Temporary Maxie Jones is coming to visit Eve. I think her name is Theresa? Lord this is going to confuse me. You know those two-hander plays where two actors play thirty-seven characters and you have to play mental olympics to keep up? That's what this is already feeling like.

Blonde is confronting.... JJ? To ask him why he did it. "It," I presume, being Eve. Which, have you seen her? Why is an explanation necessary? There's some brunette individual listening in, in plain sight since this is a soap and that's how we do.

Opening credits! Y'all, I could not be more psyched that they've kept their classic opening! That's so awesome! Did they ever try to do something cheesy-contemporary at any point and then go back?

Other blonde is monologue-ing to herself about how she doesn't have feelings for Eric, who I suppose is Greg Vaughan's character? Anyway, she's flashing back.... or having a fantasy. She's making out with some dark-haired guy who I think has been on this show forever.

Natalie Vega has a flashback:

Serena: Eric, can't you just tell me who has the elephant?

Okay, her name is Serena and that's really the sentence she just said.

Oh lord, I'm only six minutes in. I should probably not break down every single second of this, I'll be here all night!

The brunette individual assures herself that she doesn't care what's going on with JJ.

Hope? Is this Hope? She's having a conversation.

Jack McKay and Kelly Taylor's ex are talking about Hope. So I guess Kelly Taylor's ex/Daniel Cosgrove is... dating Hope? 

Okay, other blonde is still talking to herself in public.

Serena is trying to get to know dark-haired man. He's game. She's up to something.

Theresa accuses Eve of having done something to Paige, whoever Paige is.

First Blonde is yelling at JJ because he "let" Eve seduce him. Which he claims was about this Paige person. Paige is important to a lot of people, that's for sure.

Serena is taking a phone call in front of some sort of porcelain elephant, so I guess this is the elephant she was worried about earlier? Anyway, she's worried and getting somewhat threatened on the phone.

Other Blonde, who I have now learned is called Nicole, has stopped by Dark-Haired Dude's apartment.

She drops some stuff and there's a "moment" followed by a literal moment. The soap moment. Close-up. "Is the oven still on? Who farted?"

Okay JJ's dad raped Kayla? Or something? Is Kayla still on this show? JJ and Paige had a terrible fight, so apparently he got super drunk and... something with Eve. Wait, is Paige Eve's daughter. Hoo boy.

So Hope and Daniel Cosgrove are definitely a thing, sealed with a smooch.

Nicole and Dark Haired Dude almost kiss, but he seems unsure about this whole thing. He needs time. This wasn't the answer she was looking for. She looks hopefully back at him and he essentially shuts the door right in her face. Daniel! That's his name! She continues talking to herself outside his door. Is she supposed to be batshit crazy or is this just standard soapy self-talk?

Eve tells Paige she loves her. So basically she slept with her daughter's ex-boyfriend? Come on, Eve, there's only one Brooke Logan! Anyway she pulls the Soap Vixen I'm A Mom And You're Not card on Theresa and off she goes.

Original Blonde is continuing to berate JJ for his negligible bed buddy decision. Apparently JJ and Eve have been hooking up for a while? Oops! Eve is naughty! Original Blonde is displeased by this! 

Some children run up to Daniel Cosgrove and Hope and everyone is delighted!

Theresa and Dark Haired Dude's daughter exchange some bitchy barbs at the hospital.

JJ is having a self-pity/weak-acting party at his mother. Speaking of mothers, Eve goes to see Paige and is laying it on way too thick, and helpfully offers to buy her a new phone COMPLETE WITH A NEW NUMBER! She's just feeling super generous today, and when we're feeling generous we get people brand new phone numbers!

What could be more natural?

JJ's mother asks if he has feelings for Eve. Smell the fart.

Daniel Cosgrove and Hope are... filling time.

Theresa continues to insult Daniel's daughter when Nicole approaches.

I like Jen Lilley.

Daniel does not want to help Serena with some issue or another regarding Eric. I think Eric is Lucky Spencer #3 aka Donna Martin's Firefighter Boyfriend Cliff.

JJ insists he hates Eve. So they've been hate-fucking? ADORABLE! "I saw your eyes when you were looking at me in that bed," he says TO HIS MOTHER about having caught him mid-hate-sex with her worst enemy? Soaps, y'all. Soaps.

Back to Serena and Daniel. Something something something elephant.

Original Blonde promises JJ that Paige will never find out about him and Eve, and that maybe things aren't that hopeless after all between him and Paige. Oh, Blonde. Don't you know this is a soap?

In general, Paige seems really bland and perhaps not worth all this trouble. My other take-away from this episode is mostly that Theresa is the only character I'm immediately drawn to. What are the good stories that weren't on today? I wanted to see Will and Sonny! That's a thing, right? Those are people on this show? They're paired up?

Also, ELEPHANT.

Comments

[EK]

I watch Days every day, but I'm two weeks behind at the moment. The only spoiler for me was that JJ's mom (original blond)finally found out about JJ and Eve. And you are correct, Paige is completely bland and definitely not worth any of the trouble. Great recap/preview! I wish y'all would post more Days stuff..

[LJ Martiz]

I have to admit that one of my weaknesses is when a soap opera fan/blogger watches an episode of a show they don't watch and recaps it. Hijinks always are involved!

I loved the 90210 references, having watched the show before Y&R came on when there was a channel called soapnet. It was great to piece together what you were saying.

As for the show? You are right on. Paige is really really bland and boring. Like you said, a lot of people are getting all excited over a character that is not worth it in regards to interest. True O'Brien, who plays Paige, really needs to up her game. I really think that this storyline would be even better if Paige had chemistry with anything...even the fake Horton Tree thingy at the Horton Square. I don't know if I'm in the minority but I do love this storyline. It's full of juicy drama and the actors who play JJ and Eve have a lot of chemistry together. Casey Moss (JJ) is really one of the shining stars of this show.

Another one is of course Jen Lilley who plays Theresa. I am still quite disappointed with some of the fans of GH who treated her so badly when she was a Maxie recast. She took on a role and there were a lot of fans that were unnecessarily cruel to her. She has certainly proven that she is a great actress as Theresa. She's a damaged woman who has major daddy issues and who takes things way too far. At first I hated her character. What makes her so great is her vulnerabilities along with her toughness.

As for Melanie? I honestly find her character annoying. She had her moments during her first run from 2008-2012. This return has not lived up to the hype. Maybe it was because of the scene she was in during her initial run. It might also be that she is in a chemistry free relationship with Brady. They are best friends and to be honest more like brother and sister than anything else. I feel no connection between them. Why are we not getting Crystal Chappell and Louise Sorel? Those two could make this show!

Yes the elephant thing is pretty hilarious. Apparently the woman who is trying to get her to get Fred the elephant is called Navidad.

Nicole is probably my favorite character on Days. I know that I should hate her and be annoyed with her stunts but I just can't. In fact my dream storyline is that Nicole comes out as bi and falls for a woman. I would love to see a lesbian version of her current storyline.

Also Will and Sonny are on the outs, at least for now. Sonny has left Salem because Will cheated on him with a baseball player named Paul. Will was doing a story on Paul and eventually Paul came out and they had sex. Sonny found out and is in Phoenix with one of his brothers. Alex I think? Will later found out that Sonny and Paul were once a thing. Sonny even asked Paul to marry him. So yeah it's a disaster for Will and Sonny. I don't mind because Days actually treats them like the hetereosexual couples on the show who do similar things. I enjoy the fact that they are not treated differently. The sex scenes were not whitewashed or ignored or bland. Remember the Kyle and Fish sex scene on OLTL? It's nothing like that.

[boes]

Your recap is an absolute delight!
And your instincts, as usual, are perfect. Jen Lilley is the best reason to tune in. And it make it even better, she plays KdP's sister.
KdP is doing her best, which is pretty damn fine, with a crap storyline. Talk about a waste of talent.
But still so good to watch.

[O42]

This was awesome and hilarious!

And this right here?
"I saw your eyes when you were looking at me in that bed," he says TO HIS MOTHER about having caught him mid-hate-sex with her worst enemy?

Is why I watch soaps

[Judy]

Louise, you are the best. You pretty much nailed the show. And I have so missed your screencap captions :)

And no, there aren't any other more interesting stories at the moment, unfortunately. Sonny and Will were interesting before Chandler Massey left. Now Sonny is the only interesting part of that couple. I do enjoy seeing Natalie on a soap again though. The fight over the elephant was pretty funny. It must be full of heroin or something. Oh, yeah, Greg Vaughan is in fact Eric. Yay!

[Anne]

But can no one explain the elephant?

[marz]

There's something in Eric's elephant that has Navidad forcing Serena to switch them. Serena's elephant (which she carries practically everywhere) doesn't have what Eric's has. So, Nicole is right that Serena is not the good girl she pretends to be.

[Louise]

"There's something in Eric's elephant..."

THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY!

[Chris]

Louise, JJ's (the one who cheated on Paige with her mother Eve) mother on DAYS (Original blonde as you referred to her) is named Jennifer, who's JJ's mother! And Kayla is still on the show, but only on a recurring capacity!

[Chris]

And Daniel Cosgrove's character on DAYS is named Aiden, and the other actor he was talking to is Roman, Eric's dad!

[sjgsjg]

The best part about Dylan McKay's dad is that he's played 2 different roles on there, and his first role deflowered his current role's sister. Squick much?

[CZ]

No, no, no...

You see, Daniel is really this conman named Ross Rayburn. Ross has a long lost daughter named Danielle, which is why he chose Daniel as his fake name when he opted to con Salem into thinking he's the Best Doctor Ever and the Most Eligible Bachelor Ever.

And I will not call Jeannie, Theresa. <-- Serious about this one. They changed the character's name when she appeared as an adult for the first time and it bugs. They changed her whole history too.

[Louise]

OH MY GOD ROSS RAYBURN!!! CZ, I knew he was familiar but I couldn't place him before!

Okay wait, sjgsjg. So Jack McKay (who I also always think of as the dad from Valerie/The Hogan Family) is Roman? Like Roman Brady? Did someone else play that role for a while? And who else did he play? That is so confusing.

And Theresa was Jeannie? My head hurts, y'all.

[Mary]

Louise
Wayne Northrop, who is married to Lynn Herring, played the first Roman. Then Drake Hogestyn played Roman only he turned out not to be the real Roman. Lastly, the current Roman, Josh Taylor, played Chris Kositchek, who did indeed hook up to a pre Mary Beth Evans' Kayla. The thing is I loved the actor as Chris but, for me, he just never fit his role as Roman. Whew. Pass the Advil or the wine LOL

[Louise]

Omigah my brain. Okay. Yes, Wayne Northrop is the Roman I remember.

Was Hogestyn the one who thought he was Roman but was really John Black or something? Is this that show?

[Laura]

Yep, Hogestyn was the one! BTW, does anyone know/remember the lastest story on who John's real family is? I lost track awhile ago.

[C]

"The sex scenes were not whitewashed or ignored or bland. Remember the Kyle and Fish sex scene on OLTL? It's nothing like that."

Kyle and Fish's sex scene was in 2009, it was the first same sex love scene in daytime history, and kicked open the door for the ways Days has been able to show Sonny and Will (and Paul's) love lives on-screen.

I'm sorry, but I think Days pats itself way too hard on the back considering they hung back and let OLTL and AMC and ATWT do most of the heavy lifting.

[Judy]

OMG, Chris Kositchek! I love Josh Taylor in any role (swoon).