The Fosters: Wreckage

I am endlessly confused by how these mini-seasons work on ABC Family (Season 2B is a thing!), but I believe this is the first episode of Season 3. The Fosters is back, y'all!

As you might recall, when we were last with our lovely non-traditional family, Callie's bio-father was no longer fighting for custody and Callie was about to be adopted by the Adams-Foster family and this time nothing could stop them! Ha ha, just kidding, there was a big fat car accident. A pregnant Ana was driving, and Mariana and Jesús were passengers. Oh yeah! And Jude and Connor are totally sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. (And unfortunately, so were Monte and Lena.)

So here we go! Stef comes up on the scene of the accident and realizes who was there. Mariana is okay, but crying. We see Jesús and Ana being carted off on stretchers.

Stef wakes up. It was a dream? 

Opening credits! They never get old. But I don't get what just happened!

Stef and Lena are getting ready in the morning, talking about how much they miss Jesús.

But they can call him! He's just at boarding school! Which starts in the summer! SO WHAT HAPPENED IN THE ACCIDENT.

It turns out Brandon is going to Idyllwild, but he's commuting. So he will be with us for the summer. Sounds like Ana was the one hurt in the accident, but we don't know much more. We do know it's been three weeks and that it was a hit and run. They still haven't found the other driver and, naturally, Stef is working the case since Stef mostly only works cases that are completely inappropriate. Jude is meeting Connor before class (summer school) and gets the most adorable shit-eating grin on his face about it. And Jude and Connor? Are literally SITTING IN A TREE!!

 

(Not currently K-I-S-S-I-N-G, but they'll get there)

The boys aren't sure if they want to be out at school, but Connor's first vote is "nay." 

A guy outside the community center asks Callie for money, so I'm sure that'll come up later somehow.

Ana's baby is apparently just fine, and Mariana's helping out. The baby's name is Isabella. Ana is in a pretty difficult-looking brace and looks miserable -- that doesn't bode well for a newly-recovering addict.

Sure enough, the guy from earlier comes into the center and tells Callie he's a foster kid. His name is AJ and he wants to use a computer. Smash cut to commercial, because why not? How scary! A teenager needs to use a computer! (I've missed the way this show plays the most mundane moments as dramatic scene-enders.)

It turns out Brandon was admitted to the program as a composer, not a pianist, because his technique wasn't good enough but the song he wrote had "something there." Because of course Brandon didn't read his entire acceptance letter or do any sort of pre-registration at all. Neither did his parents, because on this show the administrators of programs for teenagers just deal directly with the adolescents without any parental knowledge at all. Kat, the resident snobby hot blonde, finds this whole "composer" thing very attractive, so Brandon realizes it might not be that bad after all.

Callie and AJ chat for a bit and her boss congratulates her on her gift with the other foster kids. 

Monte invites Lena on a romantic getaway. Or, as she calls it, an "education conference for two." Lena's super-awkward, so Monte reminds her that the kiss was an aberration and she's totally straight so they should go away together, just the two of them. For education.

Kat and Brandon get paired together for a project, which really pisses Kat off because Brandon is an amateur, dammit! She's been going to this camp for five years! And she pronounces it "ama-tyyyyooor," which tells us what we need to know about her personality. (It's not exactly subtle.)

Connor's ex-girlfriend wants an explanation for their breakup, and he looks all forlorn on his crutches and can't answer her. Just a reminder that he's on crutches because HIS FRIEND'S DAD SHOT HIM IN THE FOOT.

Mat and Mariana seem to be having problems. I can't really tell if she's being chilly because she's kind of over him, or because she's grumpy that he's about to go on tour, but apparently she's busy over at Ana's most of the time. Speaking of Ana, she's out of the brace and is breastfeeding and Ana basically kicks Mariana out and she has a very sad face. Ana is pretty darn sour so far this season, which cannot lead to anything good.

Callie catches AJ sleeping in the office at the community center. D'oh!

We're on what feels like our sixth commercial break. Did anyone else feel like this episode was really heavy on ads?

Stef questions a young man she thinks might be the hit-and-run driver, but Mike says the prints don't match. The car that Ana was driving is about to be sent to the junkyard, so she goes to check it out one last time.

At the big "summer's here" bash at the beach, Mariana tells Callie she plans on losing her virginity to Mat before he leaves, thinking that'll insure that he won't sleep with groupies. Oh Mariana, sweet, sweet Mariana, that is not how teenage boys work.

Taylor (I think? I get confused about the friends' names sometimes. This is the friend whose father SHOT CONNOR IN THE FOOT.) has decided that her father shooting her pal Connor wasn't bad enough, so a better plan would be to out Jude and Connor at school. Connor doesn't seem to care; he's in "I dealt with my sexual orientation and came out to my dad NOW LET'S TELL THE WORLD!" mode, but Jude is pissed. The girls tell him nobody cares that he's gay, which he insists that he most certainly is not.

Poor Mariana gets totally shot down by Mat. Ouch. Remember when she gave a dude at a party her panties on bad advice? She really does not have good luck in this arena. They kiss goodbye, they'll see each other in a few weeks. Just what every teenage girl wants to hear after offering herself up for sexytimes!

Brandon tells Lou about his "demotion" to composer ('cause that's so terrible, poor Brandon!). Lou wonders if since so much comes naturally to Brandon, he just gives up when something is a little hard. Brandon magnanimously grants his band permission to play the songs he wrote while they're on tour.

Stef cries to Lena about the accident. I guess the report that there were fatalities was inaccurate, but she's still pretty traumatized by it.

Callie decides it's a good idea just to leave AJ overnight at the community center alone. What could possibly go wrong?

Wyatt turns up (???? I thought he left?) and offers Mariana a beer. Uh-oh. I don't know if any of you watch Finding Carter, but he's already playing a character who hooks up with sisters! Don't do it! Mariana wants to know how his hair is so damn pretty. I know many viewers have the same question. Unfortunately, she goes in for the kiss and climbs right on top of him, like you do.

Come on, girl! Bad idea!

Connor is very sad. 

Connor (to Jude): What do you mean, you're not gay? Do you not like me?

No, no, Connor, he likes you, he really likes you!

Jude: I do, it's just -- my whole life, I've always been labeled as something. The new kid or the foster kid or the kid with the dead mom. I mean, why can't I just be Jude? I just want to be Jude for a while.  

And then they hold hands and it's just wonderful and perfect.

They decide that "boyfriend" is still a completely acceptable and wonderful label.

Brandon stays up all night composing a song. Oh look, he's accepting his horrible fate as a composer!

Lena and Stef cuddle in bed and decide they need to go on a vacation. They decide on Catalina, and Stef promises to make sure it's a priority. In other words, this is not going to happen. Also, the kitchen ceiling is leaking! They inexplicably have enough money to take in extra children on the regular, but not to go away for the weekend. Not when the ceiling is leaking.

Callie bursts into Mariana's room to ask if she had sex last night. She did. Mariana does not mention that it was with Wyatt, Callie's luxurious-haired ex-boyfriend. And not Mat, the boy to whom Mariana is supposed to be committed. Later, Callie goes to the center and realizes AJ stole all the spray paint. She tells her boss Rafael and he is dumbfounded, because duh. She's fired! So I'm sure that's the end of that story, right? No more AJ! Mm-hm.

Welcome back, Foster family!

Comments

[Kim B]

I'm so glad this show is back. And that Jesus is gone like the wind!

[Ziyal]

JONNOR FTW!!

[Ziyal]

Also Mariana's sex storyline is already awful. Who is that confident their first time?!

[Caitlin]

I watch Finding Carter too, and Alex Saxon must've had a serious case of deja vu reading those two scripts. Is it just me or did the whole "sleeping with sisters" thing manage to come completely out of nowhere on both shows?