General Hospital: Burning Questions and Non-Sequiturs
- So, this "Drew" allegedly died at three. I'm admittedly terrible at estimating kids' ages, but the blonde boy in this photo is three or younger???
- Does... anyone on this show understand that twins are two separate human beings? Why does everyone keep saying "there's two Jasons!" THAT'S NOT HOW TWINS WORK.
- Are they actually letting Liz be part of a storyline that doesn't involve her dating a serial killer or having kids or standing by a hospital bed with a clipboard?
A red letter day!
- So according to Scott, the history of the Quartermaines having their babies stolen from them and being upset about it makes the Quartermaines.... "sort of grabby when it comes to family?"
For real? "Gah, your kid was just kidnapped from you, why so grabby?"
MAXIE: Pleeeeease be in the mood, I need to feel like I have some sort of purpose for my life.
Well, isn't that one of the more pathetic lines we've heard in a while. You see, the reason she's trying to find purpose through sex is that Maxie has submitted her resume to "a dozen places" and hasn't gotten a job yet. The heart bleeds. A dozen? Bleeds, I tell you.
NATHAN: Life as we know it is going to end tomorrow.
What in the world is he -- oh. That's the day the Ask Man Landers book gets released. Kill me now, I'm skipping this. Just as a brief aside, I was watching today's Home & Family (I know, I know, but one of my lifelong besties was on it getting a makeover!) and Ryan Paevey was one of the guests and he referred to his character's wife's name as "Maxie Storms." Oh, Ryan. You seem... nice. (He actually did tell a really sweet story about a meter maid wanting a photo of him, and he made a deal that if she tore up the parking ticket she was writing for someone else he'd give her the photo. And it worked! If you parked near a Chipotle in 2013 in the greater Los Angeles area and your meter ran out but you didn't get a ticket, you may have Ryan Paevey to thank.)
But back from the digression...
Griffin just happened to be in the room today when the hang-up call to Sonny got traced to St. Petersburg! What are the chances? (Slim, that's what the chances are.)
Now I would make fun of Griffin for insisting to Sonny that Ava is "sorry" for having killed Sonny's son, but then I remember how many people Sonny has deliberately murdered and never felt bad about it at all. So instead, I'll make fun of Sonny for screaming at Griffin that he'll end up "in hell" (like Sonny was when Morgan died!) for trying to save Ava's soul. Sonny Corinthos explained this to a priest. What would you call this?
Mobsplaining? Griffin's going to hell, but Sonny's good with the Big Guy or at least qualified to dish out Judgment From On High. AND HE DIDN'T BURST INTO FLAMES ON THE SPOT.
Oh, and Franco made a ton of money at his art show, y'all! Art by serial killers probably would sell fairly well (didn't Charles Manson sell some music?), but most players in the art world might have some ethical issues with it. One of the coolest museums I've ever been to was Collection de l'Art Brut in Lausanne, Switzerland. It's all art by the criminally insane. (Actually, I think now they've broadened the parameters and some of the artists are just "on the fringes of society," however they define that.) When you read the descriptions of some fascinating work it's often quite chilling (think: the artistic mind of a child molester). I think what I'm saying is that the work can be sublime to look at it, but I wouldn't want to give the creators of it any financial reward. What? Are you accusing me of taking General Hospital a little too seriously by connecting it with something so dark in the real world? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
I swear I'm not stoned while blogging.
Anyway, Franco also then lied to Elizabeth about the extremely convoluted backstory for Drew and Jason (I really can't follow it myself and truly wish Irene Manning could just show up and explain that this was all some black ops nonsense that Susan Moore had no choice to participate in because money was tight or something), so I'm sure that lie is fine and nothing can possibly go wrong there.
ELIZABETH (to Franco): You are the best man you can possibly be for the boys and me.
And finally, I'll just leave you with this:
It truly needs no caption.