General Hospital: Not the Nostalgia I Was Looking For

Oh, dear. Oh, no no no. We're all just going to have to really quickly check in about Kristina's hair color. 

To wit:

Now, where have we seen this before? In case we need a reminder, here's a quick trip down memory lane of the War On General Hospital Brunettes:

The bumpit doesn't help the streaks, Liz.

Whose idea was this?

Oh Sam, no. No.

Okay, this had nothing to do with GH, but they still shouldn't have done it!

I don't know who's out there promising olive-complexioned white women with gorgeous dark brown hair that blonde is becoming to them, but I'd mistakenly thought whoever it was had ceased fire years ago! Alas, Kristina has fallen victim.

She's not the only one in that family.

Kristina has also fallen victim to unfortunate soap-speak. Parker was referring to the last time she was in town when they.... when they... and before coming up with whatever phrase she was searching for, Kristina jumped in with "Made love?"

Made love.

SAME, Parker. Same.

Do real people even still say that? I wouldn't know, I don't know any real people, but I know the talkie people in the glowing box on my console table very well, and they say "make love" way too much. 

At any rate, every part of me wants to root for these two. I'm thrilled that they finally gave a GH lady an orientation other than straight (I don't actually know what it is, mind you -- today she mentioned being "out and proud" but as what? Gay? Bi? Pan? Fluid? It's okay not to make it official, I just feel like we've skipped over her entire journey), and I like both actresses quite a bit. There are sixteen years between them but that's barely a drop in the bucket on television, but this face! This little baby face!

She's just so wee! I know I'm just going to get over this and get on board because, let's face it, it's exciting to have a love story on this show in which neither character is a murderer! Of course, today they kissed at Kelly's (great place for making out) and then Parker bailed on Kristina yet again.

We're back at Shriners Hospitals for Children®! I got a little nervous, but I actually thought the promotional dialogue was way less strained and stilted than it was last time. Was it still obvious? Yes, but the actor they had playing the doctor actually made a valiant effort to make it work. Now, the actress playing Bailey's mother? WHY IS SHE SO HAPPY.

"Isn't this fun? You might have scoliosis! Whee!"

I realize there was likely a directive in the agreement that they had to make the hospital look like a super place to be, but it still cracked me up. As did the little Shriners teddy bears in the background there.

  

In exciting news, though, Megan!

Okay, Jessica Tuck. Or Cassandra. Or a Vampire Rights Spokeswoman, as I've come to know her lately. (Yes, I'm many years behind. Sue me, I didn't have HBO till a few years ago.)

  

I mean, I guess the big story right now is Steve Burton as Patient 6? Is it wrong that I really couldn't care less until the story actually starts to take shape? It's also setting off all my eye-roll triggers with half the town participating in this "none of have really connected with Jason since he came back!" retcon from hell. Ava basically using him as her stream-of-consciousness sounding board while he's in a Hannibal Lecter mask is pretty hilarious, and now she's keeping his "secret" that... he can actually stand up, I guess? Regardless, stories that revolve around Jason, Carly, Franco, and Sonny are not high on my anticipation list, and that seems to be what this Burton/Miller combo situation is promising. 

Comments

[Kerry]

Wait...you like Kristina? As a character?

[marz]

Molly (even with that blonde hair)now looks older than Kristina.

[Louise]

At this point, I like any character who isn't a murderer or in love with one. It's slim pickings.

[Neka]

I like the Davis Girls, there really aren't other character like them right now.

[C]

Kristina has been a grade-A Sonny stan since her return so I am not a fan.

I'm much more into Molly, who sadly never gets any real story. People should be lining up to get relationship advice from her since she and TJ have the most solid, multi-year, drama-free relationship in town.