General Hospital: BRING BACK THE BROWNSTONE!
I was going to write a straight recap of today's General Hospital but then they threw some Ask Man Landers shitshow at me in the cold open, so I can't be asked. But there are some important things to touch on.
In this episode, we had a new "couple" (I guess Kristina and Parker are already official from the way they were talking today, which was fast) making out in a diner. We had randos just knocking on an apartment door in an building that should really have some security. We had characters in contrived situations so they could run into each other for the sole purpose of almost-but-not advancing plot.
What I'm saying is, we need a new set that more easily allows for such things. A building with a central location that is semi-private, where kissing isn't peculiar but a meal or a conversation might be shared in passing with neighbors. A building where people who are deeply connected live alongside people they may not know or choose to see deliberately. Which brings me to the titular plea: BRING BACK THE BROWNSTONE!
A lot of people could squeeze into that common room, you know. Very handy. It was also an appropriate place to overhear conversations.
Anything could happen there. Babies could be born. (Oh, Tania. You know I loved you.) Murders could be attempted and later solved. Proposals could be made and showdowns could become legendary. Weddings could be celebrated.
Who of the lower-to-middle class characters didn't live in the brownstone at one point or another?
And really, I know they sometimes try to shoehorn all of that into the MetroCourt by somehow constantly having people strike gold somehow and just live there permanently, but it stretches credulity and doesn't have that same hearth-and-home warmth we loved so much back then.
And it's a safe place. A safe place where huge mistakes can be made, like this haircut on Felicia:
And basically every time you need a big sweeps story, set a fire! Bring in a stalker or a hostage taker!
Give Bobbie her building back. Let everyone battle about who gets to move in. Let's see first kisses and unexpected run-ins and unlikely scene-sharers on the regular.
That's my noisy plea for today. Because otherwise today, they gave us inexplicable squealing fangirls for an ADVICE COLUMNIST. This... is not how the land of advice columnists works.
This is what they are asking us to believe is the life an advice-to-the-lovelorn writer leads. And they are asking us to take this as a serious obstacle in the lives and relationship of Maxie and Nathan and as a legitimate way to drive story. Those faces.
I mean. You guys:
For an advice columnist.
I have lost thousands of brain cells even being in the proximity of this storyline. Thousands.
And finally, y'all, I'm starting to think my dream story isn't going to come true, which is Steve Burton being Drew, and Drew's first story arc being a hardcore love triangle with Brad and Lucas. Man, we were so close.
In conclusion, guess what? Serial Drama's tweetin' now! We're so presidential! Come join us there! (My personal account is only around 0.5% about anything TV-related so it seemed like a good idea to have a timeline that's more soap-focused for actual fun!