Serial Drama

Days of Our Lives: Last Chapter of Eve

Okay folks, I'm recapping today's episode of Days of Our Lives because it's Kassie DePaiva's last day as Eve, and I have a long, long history of adoring Kassie DePaiva.

I haven't seen most of her run. I stopped by last year for a few days and then peeked in every now and then (particularly to watch the episodes around Eve losing her daughter to some serial killer or another* and to check out the A Martinez situation), and I watched her scenes yesterday (and fast-forwarded through about a million people from All My Children and One Life to Live, including Rex standing there with terrible hair talking to someone who looks way too much like Stacey Morasco to not trigger some PTSD). And that's about it. So I'm coming in not totally blind, but something closer to legally blind.

(Who was that girl she was vocal-coaching yesterday?)

So they open by wasting DePaiva's last few moments by repeating the back half of her scene from yesterday. So she's taking this girl to NYC for a Juilliard audition, I guess?

Maybe you can get us some tickets to Hamilton?

You're adorable. Sure, I'll sell my private jet in exchange for them.

This other blonde comes in and tells Eve she's overstepped her boundaries with her daughter. Are you kidding me? This woman is old enough to be that other chick's mother?

Did she birth her at her sixth grade school dance? 

Ava has locked Kayla away somewhere and Patch is pretending to want to get together with her in order to convince her into freeing Kayla. Or do we call him Steve now? That seems a little more grown-up, but he does still have the patch.

Somebody whose name I don't know is talking to Dylan McKay's dad about finding a new job in Salem.

Eve is continuing to butt heads with Belle. Oh wait, Belle! She's played by that chick who temporarily played Elizabeth over on General Hospital and also I think Belle is the character that Kirsten Storms (Maxie, GH) played when she was on this show. Soapland!

Theresa is talking to Nicole about their start-up. What they're starting up, I don't know. And Theresa is played by Jen Lilley, who played Maxie for a while on GH. What a web.

Anyhoo, back to this scene between Stefan Cassadine and Carly Corinthos, I mean this scene between Reese and Tucker, or I guess what's really happening is that Ava is telling Steve he has to sex her in order to convince her to release Kayla. Oh cool, rape! Never too much rape stuff on soaps, amirite??

Eve, whose hairstyle looks tremendous but whose roots are....not good, gives Belle some parenting advice based on her own shortcomings. 

Ray Montez/Roy DiLucca/Cruz Castillo is up to something shady but I have no idea what.

Ava: You give me a piece of this? And I will be happy to tell you where Kayla is. And then you're going to come with me to find our son, or I'm going to tell Kayla what you did. So do we have a deal?

Charming.

Meanwhile, Katherine Bell/Sierra Esteban is trying to bust out of a room through a doggie door.

It's too small, Kayla. 

Jack McKay got the guy with the icy piercing blue eyes a job, starting immediately! Like taking candy from a baby. I think this guy was on that horrible Dirty Soap show, right?

Belle wants to get Claire another vocal coach, but Claire is NOT HAVING IT. 

Eduardo is holding a gun on some dude's neck talking about how "only the student can defeat the master." I mean if I had a nickel. And then he lets him go after taking a smartphone picture of him.

The Daytime Emmy Pre-Nominations Are Here!

It's the most exciting day of the year! Out of the trillions of possible nominees in a whopping 4 remaining series, the Emmy folks painstakingly pore over hundreds and hundreds of hours worth of lengthy 4-minute reels from the acting nominees and narrow it down to a mere ten in each category so that they only have to watch ten 20-minute reels in the next round. What more accurate way to evaluate who was the very "best" in shows that create roughly 250 hour-long (or half-hour-long in just one case) episodes a year? I'll tell you: there is no more accurate way. Simply un-possible!

Okay but seriously: eh. Here we are. Here are the pre-noms.

 

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES 

TRACEY E. BREGMAN, as Lauren Fenmore Baldwin
The Young and the Restless, CBS

EILEEN DAVIDSON, as Ashley Abbott
The Young and the Restless, CBS

KASSIE DEPAIVA, as Eve Larson
Days of Our Lives, NBC

MELISSA CLAIRE EGAN, as Chelsea Newman
The Young and the Restless, CBS

MARY BETH EVANS, as Kayla Brady
Days of Our Lives, NBC

FINOLA HUGHES, as Anna Devane
General Hospital, ABC

KATE MANSI, as Abigail Devereaux
Days of Our Lives, NBC

GINA TOGNONI, as Phyllis Newman Abbott
The Young and the Restless, CBS

MAURA WEST, as Ava Jerome
General Hospital, ABC

LAURA WRIGHT, as Carly Corinthos
General Hospital, ABC

________________________________________________________________________

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES 

MAURICE BENARD, as Sonny Corinthos
General Hospital, ABC

ERIC BRAEDEN, as Victor Newman
The Young and the Restless, CBS

TYLER CHRISTOPHER, as Nikolas Cassadine
General Hospital, ABC

DOUG DAVIDSON, as Paul Williams
The Young and the Restless, CBS

BILLY FLYNN, as Chad DiMera
Days of Our Lives, NBC

ANTHONY GEARY, as Luke Spencer
General Hospital, ABC

JUSTIN HARTLEY, as Adam Newman
The Young and the Restless, CBS

THORSTEN KAYE, as Ridge Forrester
The Bold and the Beautiful, CBS

CHRISTIAN LEBLANC, as Michael Baldwin
The Young and the Restless, CBS

KRISTOFF ST. JOHN, as Neil Winters
The Young and the Restless, CBS

________________________________________________________________________

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES

LAURALEE BELL, as Christine Williams
The Young and the Restless, CBS

MOLLY BURNETT, as Melanie Jonas
Days of Our Lives, NBC

JESSICA COLLINS, as Avery Bailey Clark
The Young and the Restless, CBS

JUDI EVANS, as Adrienne Kiriakis
Days of Our Lives, NBC

LINSEY GODFREY, as Caroline Spencer
The Bold and the Beautiful, CBS

CHRISTEL KHALIL, as Lily Winters Ashby
The Young and the Restless, CBS

PEGGY MCCAY, as Caroline Brady
Days of Our Lives, NBC

SOFIA PERNAS, as Marisa Sierras
The Young and the Restless, CBS

MELISSA REEVES, as Jennifer Horton
Days of Our Lives, NBC

KELLY SULLIVAN, as Sage Warner
The Young and the Restless, CBS

________________________________________________________________________

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES 

SEAN BLAKEMORE, as Shawn Butler
General Hospital, ABC

DARIN BROOKS, as Wyatt Spencer
The Bold and the Beautiful, CBS

STEVE BURTON, as Dylan McAvoy
The Young and the Restless, CBS

SEAN CARRIGAN, as Ben “Stitch” Rayburn
The Young and the Restless, CBS

BRYTON JAMES, as Devon Hamilton
The Young and the Restless, CBS

WALLY KURTH, as Justin Kiriakis
Days of Our Lives, NBC

GREG RIKAART, as Kevin Fisher
The Young and the Restless, CBS

CHRISTOPHER SEAN, as Paul Narita
Days of Our Lives, NBC

JACOB YOUNG, as Rick Forrester
The Bold and the Beautiful, CBS

DOMINIC ZAMPROGNA, as Dante Falconeri
General Hospital, ABC

Devious Maids: Since You Went Away

Let's visit some Devious Maids, shall we? My apologies in advance for whatever confusion I might experience. I binge-viewed the first two seasons of this show, and am finding it harder to remember details in weekly form now that I'm actually watching the episodes as they air! (If anyone of you are new to it or thinking of being new to it, I assure you, it's highly binge-worthy. Netflix has the first season, and Hulu has both of the first two seasons.)

So Carmen is looking for the red dress that Blanca was wearing, but Taylor says Blanca quit and took all her things without leaving a note. I'm so confused about what's going on in this storyline and really excited to find out. I loved the slow-burn of the Rebecca-esque storyline last year, so I'm assuming this might be played at a similar pace of small reveals.

And yes, Taylor is played by Brianna Brown, formerly Batshit Crazy Lisa Niles on General Hospital. Her hair is much more sensible here, and she's not running around a boat trying to inject HIV into anyone.

Ernesto is alive and Rosie doesn't seem all that happy about it. Poor Ernesto. Kind of a bummer to come back from the dead and your wife is all, "Damn, you're kinda ruining my new deal here!" Spence is not pleased. Spence is generally not pleased, and has trouble adulting so this can't lead to anything good.

Zoila and Genevieve are bonding in their generally adorable and wonderful way. My favorite relationship on the show.

Spence is surprised and pissy that Rosie is going to bring Miguel to see HIS FATHER. Don't be gross, Spence.

Sebastian is trying to get Carmen back, and she's making it a little too easy. 

Also, can we talk about Carmen's head... necklace? Headlace? Is this a fashion trend someone needs to fill me in on?

Jesse (the male maid placed with Gail Fleming by Marisol) (who is played by the former Cameron on Days of Our Lives, by the by) finds a severed hand in the bushes. Part of a matching set? He is maid-ing, by the way, shirtlessly. This maid can somehow afford a spectacular personal trainer.

The girls are all together! Drinking Zoila's unused wedding wine. They're worried about what might have happened to Blanca.

Wait, no, Carmen's not worried. Carmen hopes Blanca is dead. That was a great dress.

Michael tries to get dirt from their daughter (is her name Katie?) on what Taylor was up to while he was away. Katie confirms that a man was in the house to see Taylor. Doesn't Katie hate Michael a lot? I'm so confused.

Jesse fills Marisol in on the hand situation. And by "hand situation," I mean the severed hand he has in a Ziploc in his bag.

Removing body parts from a crime scene: what could possibly go wrong?

Zoila goes to Genevieve's doctor's appointment with her for support. Turns out the doc wants to tell Genevieve that he's in love with her. Susan Lucci is the cutest.

Daytime Emmys: Live Blog

7:53pm:  Who's ready?

8:00pm:  They're doing a sketch about Ellen DeGeneres and Matt Lauer, which mostly seems about how they definitely will not show up for this thing. I mean it's for charity! That's the nicer thing. "Charity," unspecified. 

8:03pm: Tyra's hosting, it's real! This is the first time she's ever hosted an awards show, and is nervous about her lack-of-weave. In her childhood, they watched GH and Y&R. Tyra is basically overdramatically wonderful. She is rapping. Should she rap? I don't know about that.

8:08pm: Steve Harvey is presenting, and requests that the producers stop filming the losers' faces. 

8:09pm: Outstanding Actress! Finola, Elizabeth, Linsey, Amelia, and Lisa. Even Finola Hughes's clip made made me weepy. But, she did not win. Amelia Heinle won. She's insanely pretty. But she is not Finola Hughes. I feel crazy right now. 

8:13pm: Something about a game show? At least everyone seems awake. Outstanding Entertainment News Program! Entertainment Tonight wins. I outright did not know this was still a thing, but I do not claim to be on the cutting edge.

Who's here? Is anyone actually watching? Are you drinking to get through, or just suffering alone in some more healthy manner?

8:16pm:  Fan favorite award! Favorite talk show... audience? I don't even understand this award. I voted, but I don't remember being asked about an audience. Can we get Serial Drama readers an award now? If this is how things are working now, I'd like that very much.

8:20pm:  The hostesses of The Talk are presenting, and mostly Aisha Tyler is really, really, really, really tall. And they're joking about audiences. Because they're about to give an audience award, and I'm still confused. Did they trick me into voting in this category? Sara Gilbert is staring to look almost exactly like her wife. But, Craig Ferguson wins. I still don't understand the category, but my dog has farted in protest.

THERE IS BETTY WHITE. So no matter what anyone says, this show is the most important thing on television right now. Because Betty White is there.

8:25pm: Kirsten Storms and Ryan Paevy present Outstanding Morning Program. CBS Sunday Morning wins, because it is a thing on the air. Some old white men accept the award and speak awkwardly into the microphone.

8:26pm: They show clips from the Best Bitch Slap nominees. I actually saw none of these when they happened, so this is a bit of a delight. (Brooke looks like she deserved it?) Oh hey! B&B won for Quinn slapping drunk Brooke!

8:30pm:  Tyra is wearing very little, and now my dog is literally just standing in front of me, staring. She must be baffled as to why I'd be watching this. They're doing a video package of some fifth grade teacher. (I see some comments are coming in. soapbaby is with us!) Anyway the teacher is there and is crying and looks so beautiful and I love it!

8:34pm: They've already cut show clips for Outstanding Supporting Actor. That was fast! Chad Duell wins for General HospitalI! Good for him. Who can help but get behind him in Michael's new Sonny-hating mode? Truthfully, he's very good but this past year has given him a more generous showcase than the past sad-sack material. He thanks Ron Carlivati, Frank Valentini, Kristen Alderson, and God. Twice. Oh, Jesus made the cut, too.

8:36pm: Someone is singing "What I Did For Love" and they're doing a montage of actual soap scenes. ACTUAL SCENES. You guys. Among a hundred other things, they did the "Sonny sees Brenda outside the church in the rain alive" scene. And I actually really like this. No snark, y'all. None at all. Though I would still rather see nominees' clips.

8:40pm: Mario Lopez is presenting Outstanding Morning Program: Spanish Language. Una... nope, sorry, I did not understand the title of the winner. But AC Slater presented, so all is well! The dimples are all happening. My dog keeps shoving her face into my keyboard.

Glamorous life of a soap blogger: my dog has just pooped on the floor.

8:45pm: BETTY WHITE IS GETTING AN AWARD, EVERYONE SHOW RESPECT.

Those track suits do not bedazzle themselves, you guys.

Charo and Regis and Fred Willard and Marie Osmond are on hand to introduce her. Y'all. Betty White. Betty White. What is there to snark about? She is human perfection. Shut up. I'm not crying, your face is crying! 

Okay, I'm crying. The tribute was a bit odd, though. Nothing from the past 35 years?? Aww, Fred Willard is acknowledging her time on B&B and her fantastic work in animal rights. And Charo says Betty is the one who "put the coochee in the coochee coochee coochee."

So Betty White, the world's most wonderful human, accepts her Lifetime Achievement Award. She loves the award, but she's not quite as hot for it as she was for the anatomically-correct SAG dude. Well, what's to say? Nobody can make fun of Betty.

Oh, O42 has joined us in the comments, hooray! Who else is playing along?

As a New Yorker, I do have to remind you that the Subway Series is happening right now, so this is totally unfair in every way. Currently: Yankees 3, Mets 2.

8:59pm: Tyra introduces Miss J, and Tyra is wearing a one-shouldered onesie of some sort. B&B recently had its 7000th episode, so they're there to celebrate. Jacob Young, Karla Moseley, and Linsey Godfrey (on no crutches!) are there to be adorable. Godfrey gets a bit choked up. She's so cute.

9:01pm Outstanding Younger Actor goes to Freddie Smith, who plays Sonny on Days. Aww, I like him and all the people crying for him! 

9:04pm Outstanding Younger Actress goes to Hunter King for Y&R. Was she the one who sounded like she had laryngitis? 

Commenter Anne understands that Finola was robbed.

9:08pm: I confess I got distracted and I have no idea what these people are introducing. Oh! Outstanding "Informative" Talk Show goes to Steve Harvey. I wrote a play about a dating expert and I read Think Like A Man, so.... that is my context. I do not recommend his dating advice if you were born after 1900. If you were born before that, you are freaking awesome.

9:12pm: Outstanding Entertainment Talk Show Host goes to Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan, who are not there. I have just poured my first glass of wine. 

9:13pm: Fan Favorite for wedding disasters. Not going to lie, I voted for Franco's "hell no," but I foolishly had not yet seen Ridge fall out of a helicopter.

What do you guys think of this Queens of Drama show?

9:17pm: Okay, so the cast of that show is there. WHY IS CRYSTAL HUNT INVOLVED?? Can I get a "what the....???" from my OLTL people?

Anyway, Outstanding Directing Team goes to The Bold and the Beautiful. I mean, sure! If Ridge is getting pushed out of a helicopter, we care about your mise-en-scène.

I feel like I missed the Matt Lauer joke. Who caught why they're doing this?

9:21pm: Alan Thicke, for some reason, presents the writing award, which goes to The Bold and the Beautiful. Um. Okee doke? I know it's sort of my job to be meanest to the writers, but I'm a writer and sometimes it's....well, you get it. But still. B&B?

9:24pm: Outstanding Game Show goes to upstart Jeopardy! Who'd have guessed? I'm so proud of them. They really are the Little Game Show That Could.

I see commenter C is in the house! (Can we talk about Kyle and Fish now???) (Y'all know I remember your particulars if you're regulars here!)

Okay, seriously. How did I miss the Matt Lauer thing??

Oh, thanks, soapbaby! "Charity!"

9:28pm: Outstanding "Informative" Talk Show Host goes to the hosts of The Chew. Hrmph. Still bitter!

I am now thinking maybe I got out of the late-night dog walk since she pooped on the floor? (Alas, life does not work that way.)

9:32pm: Outstanding Culinary Program goes to Barefoot Contessa. My day job has a legal relationship with her. THAT IS ALL I KNOW.

9:33pm: 50th anniversary of Days! Hell yeah. Oh dear. I might be a little teary-eyed. Thank god they covered demon Marlena!!!

9:40pm: Joan Rivers tribute. I will be quiet now.

Crystal Hunt is still on my screen. Not okay. 

Yes, C, let's talk about Kim! Were you so sad when she got the Mindy Project boot?

Oh, the In Memoriam always makes me sad! Oh gosh, Matthew Cowles. My heart hurts for the spectacular Christine Baranski.

Is it nuts that they showed acting clips on literally only one category? Come on, y'all!

9:50pm: They are giving the fans a vacuum cleaner. What the eff year is this?

Are we feeling like this is not actually ending in 8 minutes?

9:53pm: Outstanding Talk Show "Entertainment" goes to Ellen because Ellen and so obviously she is not there. Did you guys see Amy Schumer on her show? Can we talk? And laugh?

Um, I think we're going to run long, y'all.

9:56pm: Uh-oh, some suit is there to convince us that daytime is in great shape. Outstanding Lead Actor. Anthony? Billy? Jason? Christian? Well, it's Anthony Geary.

I will let you guys comment.

10:02pm: Outstanding Lead Actress. Is it Laura? Peggy? Maura? Alison? Gina? Well, of course it's Maura. Multi-network love. She is so happy and I love it.

Seriously, we're spamming now?

Carvilati? I feel like people keep saying this.

10:09pm:  Pretty sure Tyra just said "Gene" Francis, so here we are.

Whoa! A tie! Days  won. For one.

Y&R won for the second!

10:13pm: That wasn't too far over! And y'all? I still love soaps. So flippin' much. Thanks for still playing with us!

(Daytime Grammys?)

Okay, I walked my dog. Thank you guys for hanging out, whether live or not!

Tonight: The Daytime Emmys

Come back here tonight to play along while we all sit on the edge of our seats to find out if this year's ceremony will be laughable, extremely laughable, or too embarrassing to feel comfortable laughing at. 

But there's one thing we know we can count on with Tyra Banks hosting: there will be smize-ing.

42nd Daytime Emmy Nominations are Here!

Well, they announced the nominations. The ceremony is, indeed, back on actual television this year! But that doesn't exactly fill us with excitement or optimism. It's not like the last ten times that happened were anything less than a shame spiral.

So who's in? Let's take a look:

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series

PEGGY MCCAY, as Caroline Brady
Days of Our Lives NBC

ALISON SWEENEY, as Sami Brady DiMera
Days of Our Lives NBC

GINA TOGNONI, as Phyllis Newman
The Young and the Restless CBS

MAURA WEST, as Ava Jerome
General Hospital ABC

LAURA WRIGHT, as Carly Corinthos
General Hospital ABC

 

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series

ANTHONY GEARY, as Luke Spencer
General Hospital ABC

CHRISTIAN LEBLANC, as Michael Baldwin
The Young and the Restless CBS

BILLY MILLER, as Billy Abbott
The Young and the Restless CBS

JASON THOMPSON, as Dr Patrick Drake
General Hospital ABC

 

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

LINSEY GODFREY, as Caroline Spencer Forrester
The Bold and the Beautiful CBS

AMELIA HEINLE, as Victoria Newman
The Young and the Restless CBS

ELIZABETH HENDRICKSON, as Chloe Fisher
The Young and the Restless CBS

FINOLA HUGHES, as Anna Devane
General Hospital ABC

LISA LOCICERO, as Olivia Falconeri
General Hospital ABC

 

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series

SCOTT CLIFTON, as Liam Spencer
The Bold and the Beautiful CBS

CHAD DUELL, as Michael Corinthos
General Hospital ABC

KRISTOFF ST. JOHN, as Neil Winters
The Young and the Restless CBS

JACOB YOUNG, as Rick Forrester
The Bold and the Beautiful CBS

Outstanding Younger Actress in a Drama Series

KRISTEN ALDERSON, as Kiki Jerome
General Hospital ABC

CAMILA BANUS, as Gabi Hernandez
Days of Our Lives NBC

HUNTER KING, as Summer Newman
The Young and the Restless CBS

HALEY PULLOS, as Molly Lansing Davis
General Hospital ABC

 

Outstanding Younger Actor in a Drama Series

BRYAN CRAIG, as Morgan Corinthos
General Hospital ABC

MAX EHRICH, as Fenmore Baldwin
The Young and the Restless CBS

TEQUAN RICHMOND, as TJ Ashford
General Hospital ABC

FREDDIE SMITH, as Sonny Kiriakis
Days of Our Lives NBC

 

Outstanding Special Guest Performer in a Drama Series

MEREDITH BAXTER, as Maureen
The Young and the Restless CBS

SALLY KELLERMAN, as Constance
The Young and the Restless CBS

DONNA MILLS, as Madeline Reeves
General Hospital ABC

LINDA ELENA TOVAR, as Rosalie Martinez
General Hospital ABC

FRED WILLARD, as John Forrester
The Bold and the Beautiful CBS

RAY WISE, as Ian Ward
The Young and the Restless CBS

 

Outstanding Performer in a New Approaches Drama Series

SARAH BROWN, as Katherine Wesley
Beacon Hill the Series

MARTHA BYRNE, as Alexis Jordan / Joanne Edwards
Anacostia 

ANDREA EVANS, as Vivian Price
DeVanity

ALICIA MINSHEW, as Sara Preston
Beacon Hill the Series

VANNESSA VASQUEZ, as Camila Barrios
East Los High 

DANIELLE VEGA, as Ceci Camayo
East Los High 

Days of our Lives: Second Time in Salem

Well folks, I decided to watch Days of Our Lives today. So before I start live-blogging it (which really will just be recap since it's not like I'm posting in real time, but I don't know what else to call it), this is my relationship with the show: I have watched two episodes of it. Ever. Those two episodes were when Marlena was possessed by the devil. Or some other demon? I don't know but it was freakin' awesome. My point, though, is that I really am coming in knowing absolutely nothing. Running in soap circles means I know a few of the couples and a few of the names but truly not many. So bear with me, as I will probably get some names wrong or not know names at all or accidentally call them by names of characters they played on other shows or just identify them by the actors' names or just be all "this other middle aged white dude" about it. I don't know what I'm doing here. So this should be fun.

Ready?

Okay!

A blonde is flashing back to catching a young dude in bed with BLAIR DAIMLER, let's call her (no, let's not, I do know she's Eve on here but I had to get that out of my system) (any of you who ever read my OLTL posts know full well that Blair was my favorite character on that show, so let's all just face the fact that I'm biased in her direction here, especially if she's a bitch).

Apparently it was bad news for this blonde. I think this blonde is married to Scott Reeves. In real life, not on the show. I don't think he's on this show. Although he might be. 

Some other blonde is flashing back to a friendly moment with Lucky Spencer Actor #3, Greg Vaughan, my second-favorite Lucky. 

Dylan McKay's dad is talking to Kelly Taylor's ex-fiance and I can't really what they're talking about because Dylan McKay's dad has truly bizarre speech patterns. I wonder how many times this version of Dylan McKay's dad has come back from the dead. Just once on BH90210, I think. Sky's the limit on daytime, though.

Hey, it's Natalie Vega! (Notice how I am just going to pick my favorite last name for all the women, since all soap women have had like forty last names.)

Temporary Maxie Jones is coming to visit Eve. I think her name is Theresa? Lord this is going to confuse me. You know those two-hander plays where two actors play thirty-seven characters and you have to play mental olympics to keep up? That's what this is already feeling like.

Blonde is confronting.... JJ? To ask him why he did it. "It," I presume, being Eve. Which, have you seen her? Why is an explanation necessary? There's some brunette individual listening in, in plain sight since this is a soap and that's how we do.

Opening credits! Y'all, I could not be more psyched that they've kept their classic opening! That's so awesome! Did they ever try to do something cheesy-contemporary at any point and then go back?

Other blonde is monologue-ing to herself about how she doesn't have feelings for Eric, who I suppose is Greg Vaughan's character? Anyway, she's flashing back.... or having a fantasy. She's making out with some dark-haired guy who I think has been on this show forever.

Daytime Emmy Pre-Nominations Announced!

It feels like less and less fanfare every year as the field rapidly shrinks, but hey, it's all we've got! Today they announced the pre-noms for this year's Daytime Emmys (to be held in a rented-for-two-hours studio space in Van Nuys to be broadcast live to a blog from some dude's smartphone, no doubt).

Here we go:

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES

TRACEY E. BREGMAN, as Lauren Fenmore Baldwin
The Young and the Restless, CBS

JESSICA COLLINS, as Avery Bailey Clark
The Young and the Restless, CBS

MELISSA CLAIRE EGAN, as Chelsea Newman
The Young and the Restless, CBS

KATHERINE KELLY LANG, as Brooke Logan
The Bold and the Beautiful, CBS

PEGGY MCCAY, as Caroline Brady
Days of Our Lives, NBC

ALISON SWEENEY, as Sami Brady DiMera
Days of Our Lives, NBC

GINA TOGNONI, as Phyllis Newman
The Young and the Restless, CBS

HEATHER TOM, as Katie Logan
The Bold and the Beautiful, CBS

MAURA WEST, as Ava Jerome
General Hospital, ABC

LAURA WRIGHT, as Carly Corinthos
General Hospital, ABC


____________________________________


OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES

PETER BERGMAN, as Jack Abbott
The Young and the Restless, CBS

ERIC BRAEDEN, as Victor Newman
The Young and the Restless, CBS

TYLER CHRISTOPHER, as Nikolas Cassadine
General Hospital, ABC

DANIEL COSGROVE, as Aiden Jennings
Days of Our Lives, NBC

DOUG DAVIDSON, as Paul Williams
The Young and the Restless, CBS

ANTHONY GEARY, as Luke Spencer
General Hospital, ABC

JUSTIN HARTLEY, as Adam Newman
The Young and the Restless, CBS

CHRISTIAN LEBLANC, as Michael Baldwin
The Young and the Restless, CBS

JOHN MCCOOK, as Eric Forrester
The Bold and the Beautiful, CBS

BILLY MILLER, as Billy Abbott
The Young and the Restless, CBS

JASON THOMPSON, as Dr Patrick Drake
General Hospital, ABC


_________________________________



OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES

LINSEY GODFREY, as Caroline Spencer Forrester
The Bold and the Beautiful, CBS

NANCY LEE GRAHN, as Alexis Davis
General Hospital, ABC

AMELIA HEINLE, as Victoria Newman
The Young and the Restless, CBS

ELIZABETH HENDRICKSON, as Chloe Fisher
The Young and the Restless, CBS

FINOLA HUGHES, as Anna Devane
General Hospital, ABC

LISA LOCICERO, as Olivia Falconeri
General Hospital, ABC

KIM MATULA, as Hope Logan
The Bold and the Beautiful, CBS

CADY MCCLAIN, as Kelly Andrews
The Young and the Restless, CBS

MICHELLE STAFFORD, as Nina Clay
General Hospital, ABC

CHRISHELL STAUSE, as Jordan Ridgeway
Days of Our Lives, NBC

KELLY SULLIVAN, as Sage Warner
The Young and the Restless, CBS


_______________________________________

(continued after the jump...)

 

 

 

The 2014 Daytime Emmys Live-Blogging Extravaganza

The biggest television night of the year is here! Okay. The most important television broadcast is... oh hell, I don't know. They're having a small party and handing out some statues and streaming it online and calling it the Daytime Emmys. I have volunteered to take the hit and subject myself to it so you don't have to, or so you'll watch knowing at least one other human is out there dealing with it. "Extravaganza" can be interpreted as ironically as you please. 

Sadly, Mallory will have to sit this year out but I'm sure she'll be somewhere feeling really jealous of the rest of us gluttons for punishment. And as some of you know, I haven't been watching any of the daytime soaps this year but since these awards are for the 2013 season, I'll actually sort of know what's going on. Well, 5% of the time since the rest will presumably be about talk shows and children's television.

So come join me back here at 8pm Eastern time tonight and we'll go through this together!

This time I'm just doing it the old-fashioned way, so you'll have to keep refreshing the screen to get the new comments (instead of the rolling live feed we've sometimes had).

6:18pm Hey y'all! So the red carpet is already streaming so it'll be slow-going at this point because I'm not all that interested in this part. But I'll check in from time to time between now and the main event, so if you're watching, start sounding off in the comments below!

What fresh hell is this? Who are these ladies doing the red carpet interviews? The very first thing I saw was them telling an actor he needed to get away or else they were going to RAPE HIM. No, they really said that. It's out there in the world. So I see we're setting the tone for the night: classy!

6:24pm "Oh my god how great are dads??"

We're channeling Proust here, people.

In case anyone needs the link to the live-stream: http://www.daytimeemmys.net/ 

I missed the beginning. Did they say anything about who these "professional reporters" are? Is this part of a test run for an unpaid internship, I hope?

6:31pm They want to nominate Heather Tom's boobies for an award. Because classy.

Kim Matula just used more gestures in answering four questions on the red carpet than she has in her entire tenure as Hope Logan on B&B. I'm just saying.

Kristen Alderson's dress is radioactive. My eyes hurt!

That photo doesn't really do the blinding-ness justice. But it's bright, is my point.

6:43pm So basically the gist is that these women are going to tell everyone how thin they look and how amazing that is. Feminism is alive and well, people. I feel like I'm at a bad sorority party. I don't mind that they're crass potty-mouths (in fact, that's my default state) but not when it's so utterly vapid and insincere. I half expect them to start greeting grown women with, "Hey slut, oh god, I hate you, look how hot that dress is, bitch! I die."

6:51pm Well, they basically had no idea who Jason Thompson is. Only one of the best actors in daytime by a country mile, but they just filled a few seconds with random blathering that had nothing to do with him.

My feed just died. Temporarily? I don't know. But I'm not complaining.

7:00pm Zack Conroy remains adorable. B&B viewers, do they still give him absolutely nothing to do these days?

I got restless during some buffering.

This broadcast had devolved my sense of humor into that of a four-year-old.

Also, Finola Hughes is a goddess.

(Continued...)

2014 Daytime Emmy Nominations Announced Amid Zero Fanfare!

Y'all! I forgot this was even happening today. Mostly because I haven't been able to really watch much daytime TV lately and because I figured my beloved and twice-dead favorite show would be shut out completely. But that's not how this played out! (Not that there were many other surprises.)

So what does everyone think?

OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES

The Bold and the Beautiful

Days of our Lives

One Life to Live

The Young and the Restless

 

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES

Eileen Davidson, Days of our Lives

Katherine Kelly Lang, The Bold and the Beautiful

Heather Tom, The Bold and the Beautiful

Arianne Zucker,  Days of our Lives

 

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES

Peter Bergman, The Young and the Restless

Doug Davidson, The Young and the Restless

Christian LeBlanc, The Young and the Restless

Billy Miller, The Young and the Restless

Jason Thompson, General Hospital

 

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES

Melissa Claire Egan, The Young and the Restless

Jane Elliot, General Hospital

Amelia Heinle, The Young and the Restless

Elizabeth Hendrickson, The Young and the Restless

Kelly Sullivan, General Hospital

 

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES

Bradford Anderson, General Hospital

Steve Burton, The Young and the Restless

Scott Clifton, The Bold and the Beautiful

Eric Martsolf, Days of our Lives

Dominic Zamprogna, General Hospital

 

OUTSTANDING YOUNGER ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES

Kristen Alderson, General Hospital

Linsey Godfrey, The Bold and the Beautiful

Hunter King, The Young and the Restless

Kim Matula, The Bold and the Beautiful

Kelley Missal, One Life to Live

 

OUTSTANDING YOUNGER ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES

Bryan Craig, General Hospital

Chad Duell, General Hospital

Max Ehrich, The Young and the Restless

Chandler Massey, Days of our Lives

Daniel Polo, The Young and the Restless

 

OUTSTANING WRITING TEAM IN A DRAMA SERIES

The Bold and the Beautiful

Days of our Lives 

The Young and the Restless

 

OUTSTANDING DIRECTING TEAM IN A DRAMA SERIES

The Bold and the Beautiful

One Life to Live

The Young and the Restless