Serial Drama

Brief Musings on Nashville: Your Good Girl's Gonna Go Bad

Oh, Lucky Spencer, you silly boy.

Look at the present your girlfriend got you!

As gifts go, I would think that's a good one?

He doesn't think so.

Second straight man on the planet who ever got bored by a half-naked multimillionaire hot blonde writhing on top of him.

She doesn't take it too well.

As well she shouldn't. And I might add that she was right to be pissed at him for telling her she should have given Scarlett the "night off" on tour. Not how it works. Sorry.

And I mean the whole reason he's just not that into Juliette anymore is this particular character from a Tennessee Williams play:

There is no accounting for taste.

But as he explained to her in the episode, Scarlett does have a permanent place in his heart. They were each other's first loves! But tell me. That permanent place? IS IT A PERMANENT LOCK, LUCKY SPENCER? IS IT?

Scarlett done got herself admitted to the nervous hospital, y'all! And is finally going to quit being a country star or something. Not that I'm interested in watching her do something else, but of course this was the episode where we were supposed to applaud even Gunnar for "defending" Scarlett to Jeff Fordham because Jeff called Scarlett a "loony," which, you know, how dare he say that about someone who just had a massive public mental breakdown!! She's just a wisp of a broken thing and we must all fan her and protect her honor and virtue and give her mint juleps, she's just a fragile naif!

Brief Musings on Nashville: Crazy

You know, I almost didn't bother saying anything about last night's episode of Nashville because the storyline I'm most interested in wasn't even featured and the storyline that irritates me the most got sent into downright offensive overdrive. And really, kind of in the way I once got sick of my every GH post being "Ugh, Sabrina sucks" and once got sick of my every OLTL post being "Ugh, the Fords suck," I didn't want to just show up here every week and post a rant about Scarlett. But I also really have trouble keeping my mouth (or typing fingers, as the case may be) shut when something is so egregiously horrible as the latest installment of the "Woe Is Scarlett" saga. Because really. Did y'all know she has a really, really mean completely one-dimensional and over-written plot device? Sorry, I mean mother?

Well, she does.

Look, there she is, being erratic and verbally and almost-physically abusive!

Look how subtle and nuanced this is! Scarlett cowers and whimpers at her mother's touch? WHAT COULD THIS MEAN?! Boy, you really have to watch this show closely to see what they're trying to tell us. You've got to be a real sleuth! (I was going to make a cute comment about having been quite the detective as a child but then it reminded me of How I Met Your Mother and I'm still angry and that can't be healthy.)

Anyway, it's basically as if the writers sat down and realized one of their central characters is not the manic pixie dream girl they'd intended but is actually a whiny annoying unsympathetic mess and said, "Oh hey, remember how we built dimensions for Juliette and Rayna? Difficult relationship with a parent! Let's introduce out of nowhere that Scarlett's biggest issue is a mustache-twirling cartoon character of an abusive mother! And even though we haven't seen a single sign of any of this, let's have one interaction lead to a total public mental breakdown for Scarlett! What heartless viewers wouldn't love her then?? Simple dimple!"

Well, I can't really defend anything they ever wrote about Rayna's relationship with Lamar, but thankfully she'd earned plenty of good will for us in other arenas. But it's really a bummer that the same team who wrote such an excellent and humanizing arc for Juliette about her mother (who actually was written with compassion and complexity) thought that this lazy trick was a good idea.

Nashville: An Open Letter To Scarlett O'Connor

Dear Scarlett,

I wish I could say this was from a big fan, but it's not. Something about your wispy, kewpie-doll shtick drives me nuts. But I like people and I want other humans to be happy and you are so not happy that you are popping pills and trying to get fired from dream jobs and just randomly pouting and contorting yourself angrily and your accent is getting worse and worse.

 

You're so ethereal! Or something.

So I just wanted to submit to you my deepest sympathies. I am so sorry that your job isn't amazing. Sure, you're a performing artist and you got signed almost out of nowhere by a country music legend and you got to hand pick your producer and you're opening for a major act and you have thousands of people cheering for you while you perform songs that you wrote yourself and that matter a lot to you personally. But oh my god UGH the hours. Plus executives caring about stuff. Plus you lost a friend (sure, by telling her to get lost, but still!). And producers. And some audience members don't like you and they let you know it. IT IS THE WORST, GIRL. I am so sorry.

I mean I can't totally relate. Sure, at my job today, something really exciting happened: a temp sat in for a woman who sits in a cubicle near me. But this unparalleled thrill was mitigated by the fact that the work itself is mind-numbing and I didn't have any moments that nourished my soul or let me have the creative outlet I spent my whole life dreaming of and working toward. And the job is really boring and doesn't pay very well and doesn't offer any room for advancement or growth or anything. But hey! At least nobody expects me to show up at an after-party or do a radio interview! MY HEART BLEEDS FOR YOU. I think everyone's does, right?

Brief Musings on Nashville: We've Got Things To Do

Episode 217 of Nashville, otherwise known as "The Night Teddy Was Interesting For Eight Seconds."

But I wouldn't want to disappoint anyone who really only comes in to share in my dislike of Scarlett, so let's start with a photo journey of how annoying she was this week, and it was really more to do with her hairstyles and pouty face than anything else:

I mean they were really just taunting us Scarlett-haters with those braids and that douchey headband, weren't they? That was clearly just to bother us.

Meanwhile, Teddy has gone full-scale cheesy-soap guy and is now cornering Deacon's lawyer girlfriend (who still does not have a personality meritorious of a name) and telling her how she feels about him and how he just knows she can't stop thinking about him and their backseat sexcapades. If they were interesting characters or had any chemistry or anything, this might even be entertaining! It's not, but I did get a kick out of Teddy being so corny and ridiculous (made all the more amusing by the incongruity with his concurrent "having trouble disciplining his teen daughter" storyline, because that actually makes it a "having trouble disciplining his teen daughter while also trying to seduce the girlfriend of said teen daughter's biological father" storyline) (when she finds out what he's up to she's really going to fully convert to the "Deacon's my REAL dad!" camp, that's for sure).

Brief Musings on Nashville: Guilty Street

In light of the fact that my schedule has dramatically changed recently, quick disclaimer: I will cover shows as often as possible but it's unlikely that I'll be able to do every episode of anything, hence the recent scarcity of Nashville and The Fosters posts. That said, I just had to check in about last night's Nashville because how could I resist publicly celebrating Scarlett getting crushed? I couldn't, that's how!

You see, Liam and Scarlett got busted sucking face at the recording studio, like you do. Rayna was none too happy about this since Liam is hers. Or because it's bad for her young artist? Or because Rayna is an adult and Scarlett is a child? I'm not sure which version we were supposed to buy, but no matter. I really liked Liam and was starting to feel awfully sad about him getting involved with my least favorite character on the show, but at least I got swiftly rewarded when he didn't even bother trying to be nice about dumping her (he didn't even explain he'd been fired and ordered away from her).

I mean I can see why he didn't sugarcoat things when she showed up in that hat. Ugh, her face. For a minute I thought the schadenfreude maybe made me a bad person but then I again remembered Scarlett's not a real person but a work of fiction. An annoying one.

Was it a little sketch-o-rama of Rayna to essentially lie about this whole thing to Scarlett? Well, sure, but welcome to business and adulthood, blondie.

Meanwhile, Deacon ran into an old flame at an AA meeting.

Ruth was played by none other than Charlotte Ross, formerly Eve Donovan on Days of our Lives. Yay! I was thrilled to see her (also note to self: don't forget to check out Kassie DePaiva in the role) and I hope this isn't the last of her on the show. If nothing else, she's already a hell of a lot more exciting than Deacon's current girlfriend.

Nashville: Too Far Gone

They did indeed go too far. With Rayna's TERRIBLE video for her new single. What was that? Also, I hate to ever speak even mildly ill of Connie Britton*, but she just looked so awkward in that -- that didn't look like a country music star who's done hundreds of music videos in her career. (That said, Tami Taylor 4evah!!!!)

You guys, I am sad about Will. Gunnar tried to give him a bit of a heartache song which has a lyric about being broken, which Will is NOT (he insists). And it's not his brand. Later he played and sang it alone (and insisted Gunnar's the only one who'll ever hear it), but not until after he got Brent fired. I'm starting to lose sympathy. First, even though Layla sucks, being in a relationship with her under false pretenses like this is just cruel. Second, it's one thing to have internalized homophobia. It's quite another to mess with someone's life and career, not to mention the fact that anti-gay bigotry (or sorry, "making the artists uncomfortable," ha!) was literally given as the reason for Brent losing his job. I really wish he could sue, but I'm pretty sure it's completely legal in Tennessee.

On the other hand, I'm glad they're not rushing this storyline because it makes me think that they're actually committed to it. It'd be much worse if it were like a three-episode arc and just got solved and everyone was happy right away.

Oh, Avery.

In Juliette, he sure has gotten himself involved with one high-ass-maintenance woman. She replaced his furniture! After one day as a couple! Oof. (But I love them together. A lot a lot.)

Things I don't love: Deacon's relationship with boring attorney lady. Last night he "caught" her in a too-friendly moment with boring Teddy.

Nothing a little laxative won't help, Deacon. (Sadly, they made up one scene later. She's a rescuer but it's not why she loves him. Zzzzz.)

Nashville: It's All Wrong, but It's All Right

Welcome to Nashville coverage! I make no guarantees of permanence, but I'm giving it a whirl and let's see how much interest there is. This seems a particularly good prime time serial drama for this blog because some of the cast members were originally on daytime. Jonathan Jackson on GH and Hayden Panettiere on OLTL (playing the daughter of one of my all-time favorite couples, of course). Recognize anyone else with a daytime past?

Here we go!*

Rayna and Luke make kissyface a bit and Liam, clearly the better choice of men, walks in. Things are a little awkward. Because she should be hooking up with Liam and not Luke. Obviously. Scarlett twirls in with her squeaky kewpie doll voice and meets Liam, too. Liam. Please do not hook up with Scarlett. I do not want to think less of you. (Y'all will quickly learn my loathing for Scarlett. And that I cannot be talked out of it.)

Gunnar and Will are chatting as Layla comes out of Will's bedroom wearing his flannel. Gunnar gives Will a look of consternation because Brent is the one who should've walked out of the bedroom in Will's flannel.

Liam tries to get Scarlett to open up about her heartbreak to tap into those feelings for her songs. But it's private! How dare he! Basically she acts like a drugged third grader.

Something is going on with some race cars. Rayna's face has been plastered all over a race car thanks to Luke.

Now that's just creepy, but I guess it'll help with distribution?

Juliette is practicing her bullshit mea culpa at the Opry. Jeff Fordham makes some super-subtle comment about having finally "broken the filly." Charming.

Teddy is... ugh. Teddy is talking and still has a storyline on this show. He thinks Lamar is the one who shot Peggy. Something something something Lamar is going to jail and Tandy is the star witness. I try to care and it's too much of an effort.