Part of what made classic Passions like crack was the fear of missing the latest
“I-must-be-hallucinating; I-couldn’t-possibly-have-just-heard-that”
howler of a line of dialogue if you missed an episode. I’ve assembled twenty-five of the most prime
examples. Enjoy!
25. SHERIDAN: I
feel a connection to this footprint!
24. TC: But Eve,
you’re a woman of science!
23. PILAR: At
first, Grace thought it must be Noah who was in danger, but the Angel Girl said
no.
22. IVY: I'm
going to find that bloody bird statue if it's the last thing I do!
21. LUIS: It’s
not my hand that hurts…it’s my heart!
20. EVE: I can’t
believe you, Liz, my own sister, would say such a thing!
19. JESSICA: It's
so brave of Miguel to go back in the closet!
18. ETHAN: Just
wait till you see me chomp on that noodle!
17. LIZ: I’ve
carried this suitcase with me everywhere I’ve gone for the past twenty years!
16. ETHAN: Not
only was that plane carrying passengers and luggage, but my hopes and dreams as
well!
15. SHERIDAN: Our
noodle broke!
14. LIZ: This
should make TC drop his inhibitions…and his pants!
13. BETH: Thank
God for the lesbians!
12. SAM: I don't
mean to alarm you, but I found TC outside choking a statue.
11. THERESA:
Ethan is the air that I breathe and I'll die without him!
10. LIZ: They
booed Mama!
9. CHARITY: It
was you! You were the panther! You're the evil that's trying to
destroy me and Miguel and all of Harmony!
8. KAY: No! Siren
can’t make love to Miguel! She’s a
mermaid! And the mermaid’s curse
specifies that once a mermaid makes love to a mortal, he can never be with
another woman ever again!
7. WHITNEY:
Repent now before God smites you, Theresa! Get out of here before God
sends his fiery messenger to take you to hell!
6. PILAR: What
would Jesus do, Theresa? Would Jesus
take the Crane money? Would He?
5. KAY: Oh my
God, Zombie Charity! Not only are you a
lying slut, but now you’re a succubus
as well!
4. PILAR:
How can this be? We saw your corpse after the tsunami when your coffin washed
into my living room!
3. EVIL CHARITY:
I’m picking mushrooms to destroy goodness!
2. PILAR: Those
storm clouds came out of nowhere. Like
the trouble in Sam and Grace’s marriage.
And the all-time WTF? champ:
1. TABITHA: I
wonder what kind of hell my special potpourri will unleash on Sheridan?