Serial Drama

Quick Survey!

Literally one question: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/8KSJWMX

It's anonymous and you can pick more than one thing! Feel free to expand on it in the comments here -- if you picked Web Soaps, do you have favorites? If you picked 90210, what are your favorite seasons? Etc!

Edited to add: I want to clarify one thing. I'm probably not going to cover the best new shows on television. Or the best old shows. If I can't have a little fun at the show's expense, for the most part, you can find lots of much more high-profile commentary on just about everything. I'm not here to recap Friday Night Lights or The Wire. I even dropped The Fosters because I like it and other places covered it well (Previously TV, Autostraddle, etc) but I noticed some sites dropped them so, hey, low-coverage shows are more likely to happen here if they're worth it. Maybe I'll pick it back up.

This is kind of stream-of-consciousness, but I just wanted to offer up a sense of what's behind the thinking here! 

 

Sucks So Good (And So Belatedly): Thoughts on True Blood's 5th Season

You think I'd have prepared better for this; after all, it happens every year after one of HBO's awesome yet depressingly abbreviated seasons and I've been thinking about it since June 11th (I am a sick person. I realize this). But here I am, the way that I am every year when True Blood draws to what I am sure will be a blood-drenched, dizzying-ly awesome finale: depressed at spending Sunday nights during a long autumn and winter and fall somewhere besides Bon Temps. WHY are the seasons only twelve episodes long?! HBO is the cruelest of all the networks.

As you have surely noticed, True Blood coverage stopped around these parts this season and it certainly wasn't for a lack of discussion topics because--holy shit--this show continues to be insane and nearly every episode this season was a nonstop rollercoster of INSANE. No, life got completely crazy and my schedule was all thrown off. And no, none of the above is code for "I was legally prohibited by court order from discussing Alexander Skarsgard", I swear!

There is SO MUCH to say about this season and I am sure there will be SO MUCH to say about tonight's season finale--I think I may need to spend the next few hours coming up with just the right phrase to describe the kind of awesome-soaked WTF?! this finale will surely bring us--but I am going to start with a list of stray thoughts and observations from this season, few of which will make sense and none of which are presented in any sort of logical order. When I phrase it like that, how can you not click behind the cut? My advertising skills are seriously stellar.

Sucks So Good: True Blood 5.2, "Authority Always Wins"

Thank you, True Blood, for basically condemning me to a week of singing "Authority Song" under my breath in any and all situations, including those in which it is totally socially inappropriate. It may not leave my head ever. I am legitimately worried right now.

After the jump, a look at the latest episode of True Blood, including a now-redacted ode to the campy glory of Christopher Meloni that went through his filmography in vivid detail (Wet Hot American Summer, you guys!) and had lots of exclamation points and "I cannot WAIT"'s in it, which I erased because it was barely in English and if one looks at it in conjunction with similar odes to Alexander Skarsgard and Denis O'Hare, it paints what would be a very disturbing picture in the eyes of an FBI profiler.

Sucks So Good: True Blood 5.1, "Turn! Turn! Turn!"

Nearly a year ago (NEARLY A YEAR! HBO, you are the cruelest group of people to ever produce television), I finished the season finale of True Blood flailing my hands, shrieking and generally acting like I was high. Which I was, on awesomeness.

After a hiatus spent wondering "How the hell are they going to resolve [INSERT RECAP OF INSANE SHENANIGAN THAT DEFIES REASON AND LOGIC AND CAN ONLY BE DISCUSSED IN ALL CAPS AND JAZZ HANDS HERE]?!?!?" and "But what happened offscreen to [INSERT ANOTHER RECAP OF A TOTALLY DIFFERENT SHENANIGAN WITH A LONG-LOST AND HILARIOUS CHARACTER]?!?!" and "How is it fair that Alexander Skarsgard was filming a movie 20 minutes away from me and I had no idea?! What crime did I commit that deserves such a horrible punishment?!", our show is finally back and Sunday nights are about to get a whole lot campier. Sometimes you need the ridiculous to ease you into a new work week.

So was "Turn! Turn! Turn!" the kind of crazy we all needed? Find out after the jump (and if you're not caught up on last season, get caught up because, you know...it made me high)!

Sucks So Good: True Blood 4.12, "And When I Die"

And When I Die...it will be of ANGUISH and HORROR and FURY that we need to wait until next summer to get closure on the events that unfolded in the last five minutes of the season four finale.

I'd normally have a couple of more vague things to say before directing you to go after the jump to read my thoughts on this week's episode, and usually those things are related to Alexander Skarsgard and his dreaminess, but I am basically freaking out--nay, fah-reaking out (it's the kind of freaking out that just demands to be upgraded, syllable-wise) and feel that my loose lips would spoil the episode for readers who are behind on True Blood by, in between flails, saying something like "AND THEN, HOW ABOUT [THING THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE]? MY GOD, RIGHT?". So, um, click after the jump for more. And if you are not caught up, get caught up immediately because we need to talk about this!

Sucks So Good: True Blood 4.11, "Soul of Fire"

Let me start out with a huge THANK YOU to all of you who stepped in for me and took over recapping duties while I was out on Irene leave. After five days without power, I have finally caught up on all of my soaps, both daytime and primetime, and am ready to dive back into the happenings in Bon Temps (and Port Charles and Pine Valley, but those are substantially less exciting).

And we only have ONE MORE WEEK of excitement in Bon Temps before a cruel, cruel autumn and winter and spring. Why must that always happen? We spend twelve glorious weeks peering into the zany brain of Alan Ball and then, abruptly, it's over. It's downright depressing, is what it is.

After the gratuitous Northman, click after the jump for "Soul of Fire".

The Catch Up Blues

If you'll pardon the caps for just a moment: OH MY GOD, IT FEELS SO GOOD TO TYPE! AND HAVE LIGHTS, TEMPORARILY! DAMN YOU, IRENE!

As much as I wish my extended blogging hiatus were for a fun reason, it...is not: Hurricane Irene didn't do as much damage as anticipated; bitch just robbed me of power. For days. It has been--well, let me put it this way: yesterday afternoon at 3, I thought to myself wistfully, "I should be watching General Hospital right nwo!" and almost burst into a stream of legitimately sad tears. Terrifying, right?

There is still no word yet on when I'll actually have television, but ABC.com should get me caught up enough eventually. Until then: what have I missed, folks?! If you tell me that I missed an epically great week of soapdom, I will...well, I will not believe you. But after I accuse you of lying, I will cry in jealousy.

Sucks So Good Open Post! True Blood 4.10, "Burning Down The House"

Over the past few years, Sundays have become one of my favorite nights of television and, as such, my mind immediately and selfishly went to Bon Temps when I heard that Hurricane Irene would be walloping my neck of the woods on Sunday.

My first thought was, naturally, "But ASkars is filming in New York City! I hope he is all right! Did they evacuate him?" and my second thought was "If I lose power and I can't watch True Blood, I...DEJECTED!" I mean, I will be dejected for other reasons if I am without power for an extended length of time, since it is horrible and boring and there is, you know, a chance of serious hurricane damage, but the past few episodes of this season have been so exciting and I don't want to have to wait to watch!

But in case I do have to wait, here is an open post for you to discuss the good, the bad, and the ugly of "Burning Down The House" and to fill me in on what to expect: was there a lot of nudity? Is Antonia becoming even more horrifying and, if so, how is that even possible?! Was the point of the show's detour into Hotshot explained, preferably with no members of the Hotshot clan appearing onscreen and with a statement from Jason saying something like "We'll never see them again, ever"? Did Tommy manage to be sympathetic for an entire episode?

Sucks So Good: True Blood 4.9, "Let's Get Out Of Here"

GUYS!

WHAT?!

I KNOW!

With that, I could be referring to the events of "Let's Get Out of Here" OR the news that Joe Manganiello is thisclose to taking a role in Steven Soderbergh's movie about male strippers, both of which are equally deserving of exclamation points.

While Jason rocks out, head behind the cut and we can dissect the events of "Let's Get Out of Here" (which is the ninth episode of the season. I think I am just going to pretend that the season isn't ending in a matter of weeks. Delusion, yay!)

Sucks So Good: True Blood 4.8, "Spellbound"

Why, why, whyyyy--as petulant as that reads as typed, it's nowhere near as whiny as it is when I speak it, which I have, often, whenever I mention True Blood to people--does a season of True Blood speed by so quickly?! You wait months that feel like decades for a new season to premiere, and then after what feels like a handful of episodes, the season starts to draw to a close. We're already at episode 8. 8! Luckily, it was eight kinds of awesome. After Pam's sass, click the jump to read for more.